Daughter dating a married man?

I would first talk to my daughter about him. Let her know you're well aware of his whole past "romantic history" & that she is making a bad move with this married man. He's already done this to two of his past wives, he's just going to keep doing it again & again. Let her know she IS going to get hurt in one way or another from this man, which she will. You could let her know you are very serious about it ALL & you do not want him taking advantage of her. Let her know you have serious tho'ts about plans going thru your mind, but you're giving her a chance first to get rid of someone else's husband. You bro't her up better than that, you expect more from her than that. Tell her the choice is hers as to what you're going to do. IF she doesn't break it with him, then possibly contact the wife & let her know what's going on & that you tried your best to have their relationship dissolved but to no avail...best to you...:)

You shouldn't do either. This will have to play itself out. Your daughter is an adult and will have to come to the decision to leave leave the relationship on her own. What you should do is be there when she needs you. And she probably will sooner than later. Tell her to check out the website - the other woman TOW. There will be emotional support and advise from women who have been in her shoes and understand better what she is going through. It will help her process the situation more honestly with herself sooner than she would on her own. But still only in her own time. She will not appreciate your interference and may cling tighter to the relationship because of it. Telling his wife probably won't end thier affair anyway only put it on hold for days to a few weeks while he pacifies his wife. You could check out the website yourself to gain some understanding on what she is or will be going through. Good luck.

I would not tell the wife, since if she were to get insanely angry, she might take it out on your daughter.

I would not try to talk sense to the man, since he obviously doesn't care about hurting women, and your concerns would fall upon deaf ears.

However, you need to show your daughter two things: one, that you care about what could happen to her, and two, that she should care about breaking up a marriage.

She should have some compassion for the wife, who is probably very much in love and very much in the dark about what's going on. Married men will lie about their relationship with their wives, saying that the wife is cold or the marriage is on the rocks, when in reality neither accusation is true.

I think you should send a simple anonymous note (snail mail NOT email!!) to the wife.

Say, "I am sorry to tell you this but your husband is having an affair with a young lady at work. I know this for a fact. I am sending this because if I were in your position, I would want to know."

I would not tell your daughter or anyone else that you are sending it.

Then it is up to the wife to decide what to do. She might decide to fight or to just live with it. But she should know all of the facts and be able to make that decision herself.

Given the past history the guy has had, I think it would be wiser talking to your daughter about what she is doing. You know he doesn't care or his pattern wouldn't continue. He will not be faithful to your daughter either if she becomes #3 wife so what exactly is her ultimate goal here? Trying threats upon him can ultimately backfire and get your daughter fired. It was a bad choice for her as well as him. Since you have no control over what he does, you can only concentrate on trying to change her behavior.

I'm a male and if that was my daughter I would first let her know whats up, then I would go up to the find out who this guy is, go to lunch with her to get to see him. Come back another day and ask him to leave her alone.

Now if she continue to pursue him, let her get her bruises.

Get his number if you confront him, if he is a real man, he would call you and let you know that he is concerned about your daughter and she is still pursuing him, THIS WOULD BE THE MOVE FROM A REAL MAN, if he does that, yes she can have him as a friend, as long as his wife know as well.

peace yakus3000@yahoo.com

As, a father of 3 daughters, & 3 sons!

I've taught them values & morales,

But, if they should 'stray into such a terrible' thing as this!

I'd be very INVOLVED!!

There is NO HAPPY ENDING HERE!

Contact HIM!

and tell him 1st to stay away or U're next step will be his wife notice of his

actions!

Do NOT write to him. Doing so it crossing healthy psychological and relationship boundaries.

Learn to stop being so enmeshed with your daughter. If you don't understand the term and the implications, go talk to a psychologist.

HERE is what a loving mother will do, at least a mother who has is psychologically healthy herself and who has a healthy relationship with her daughter:

You sit your daughter down and tell her this:

"I am your mother and I love you. I think you are making a mistake about something, and I am going to tell you what I think ... ONCE. I will never say it again, but as your mother, I DO have a duty to say something to you ONCE. And here it is what I have to say...."

Keep it short and sweet and do NOT use "you statements" (again, if you don't know what these are, have a session with a psychologist beforehand)

Then never bring it up again. Never say anything or do anything about it. You raised your daughter to be an adult, and if you didn't raise her to have enough self-esteem to avoid married men, this is your fault and it's too late to do anything about it.

A loving mother will be there to hold her hand when she comes crying to you. And will NEVER say "I told you so".

You either accept what your daughter does, or you risk losing your relationship with her entirely.

Why are you admonishing the boyfriend instead of your own daughter about her behavior. I mean, didn't you teach your daughter better than to sleep with married men? I don't know why you expect more out of this man's behavior than you expect out of your own daughter. Doesn't your daughter have more of an obligation to you than this guy has to you.

I would butt out of it. Is it worth risking to ruin your relationship with your daughter over it? I doubt she will appreciate your involvement in her love life. (regardless what's right and wrong)