Is it possible to tell babies and toddlers no?

It is absolutely possible to tell a baby or toddler no. You just have to adjust your approach appropriately for their age.

Babies and young toddlers need both a "no" and to be taken away from what he's doing and to be distracted. They don't get any type of explanation as to why that can't do what they can't do, but they do get a simple "no" and being taken away from what they were doing.

Older toddlers can understand "no" and an age appropriate explanation.

Young children aren't as incompetent as some people make them out to be. Their age is never an excuse to let them run completely wild.

i have to agree with k as to the sentence of yours that i'd have quoted and taken issue with. distraction has a very real role with very little kids -- and is a kind thing even with older ones. and adults.

life needn't always be "no, not that, period, end of sentence, or else" "no, not that ... but this instead" often has the same effect and is a lot more pleasant. discipline is about what's allowed as well as what isn't.

i'm not sure i've ever met anyone who *never* tells their babies and toddlers no, so that seems a bit of a straw man. certainly different parents have different ideas about when it needs saying.

"And before anyone tries to tell me to distract a small child who is doing something wrong...I understand behavior modification very well and know that this is the wrong approach."

You understand _nothing_ of babies and young toddlers...

Quite young tots _understand_ "no." But it is a very long road before the development advances to the point where "Mum said no" is able to take precedence over "Ooh, shiny thing!" There is no sense in making a "consequence" with a tot too young to have self-control.

My daughter's good behaviour is a source of CONSTANT comment -- it overwhelms sometimes -- she has _never ever_ been punished, not a single artificial consequence, no petty punishment/reward dramas at all.

When she was wee it was simple -- "No, not toy" -- removal -- offer of "toy." The explanation for why for the "no" went up pretty quickly; even young tots can understand explanations, and if they don't? Delaying offering them will not hasten the arrival of understanding.

Back to the first two, quoted, lines -- nonsense. "No" followed by swift removal and the offer of a different activity eventually makes clear "I could go climb up on that, but Mum would be on me in a flash picking me up and off it. So...no." Problems arise when parents sit on their bums and shout and then get up and spank...

http://goybparenting.com/?page_id=54 has some bad advice (don't be polite to your child? Dreadful) but...

"Here are some examples of practical application:

“Brandon, stay with me in the parking lot” is followed by taking his hand.

“Sue, put your shoes on, we are leaving” is followed by handing her the shoes.

“Roger, get off the table” is followed by picking him up and moving him."

...do that with a Mary-Poppins-esque cheerful, efficient, no-nonsense, loving tone, and it will work.

But babies and toddlers require a rather different set of expectations. Your cousin could have and should have moved him from the cheese tray, but I can't imagine why you think she shouldn't have distracted him.

The "I have raised my stepchildren since the youngest was 4 y.o." explains a lot; I have seen you let loose with some jaw-droppingly, absolutely hilariously, awful advice on here, stuff that could only have come from somebody with zero IRL experience with what they were trying to advise on. If you have a baby, I think you will find yourself red in the face remembering what some of your views on young children were.

There's lots of good advice out there about how to parent effectively entirely without punishment; do read up! The pages here http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positi... have a lot to offer; ditto with

http://www.aces.edu/pubs/docs/H/HE-0687/

http://www.aces.edu/pubs/docs/H/HE-0684/

http://www.aces.edu/pubs/docs/H/HE-0718/

http://www.aces.edu/pubs/docs/H/HE-0719/

Yes.