I'm really romantically interested in a girl who has Asperger's. Can I get advice?

1) Here's a very important one that I don't think has been mentioned yet: Do NOT touch her without asking. A lot of autistics/aspies tend to be hypersensitive to touch, and we generally don't like being touched without permission. If you end up going out more, or move into a longer-term relationship, this rule might end up no longer applying at some point (because, contrary to popular belief, we *can* communicate nonverbally), but at first, you're going to want to play it safe. Even if she's okay with a casual touch from a friend, she might not be entirely comfortable with hand-holding, kissing, or whatever.

2) Don't patronize her. Nobody, autie/aspie or not, likes being patronized.

3) Check your privilege. This goes for any relationship where one person has some sort of privilege or advantage that the other person doesn't share. Here's a handy-dandy guide: http://tjlp.org/privilege101.pdf

Don't take it personally if she responds in an odd way. Be very clear about what you want to tell her, don't use ambiguous euphemisms that can be taken in multiple ways, as in "I like you" could mean you like being platonic friends or could mean you have a romantic interest. Don't expect her to read your body language or just know if you are feeling upset or whatever...many with Aspergers are terrible with reading expressions and nonverbal communication. And be honest and clarify any possible misunderstandings up early on. Also, if she says no, how will you feel? She is very likely to not realize that turning down a romantic overture can change the tone of the friendship, especially in younger inexperienced people. Good luck.

Asperger's Syndrome is the highest form of autism, you will have a chance with her if you are interested.It helps that you have know her for several months. Just talk to her like you would any other girl. You don't have to treat her any differently. If she does not understand something then just explain, or if you don't explain something she said ask her to explain. She might not be as good with social skills so that is one thing you should be aware of, that way yo can understand if a conversation gets too hard or embarrassing. She will probably be thrilled to be asked out. Or a little shy about it, but yes, ask her and and see what happens.

My advice: don't make anything subtle. If you try to use body language, unless she's concentrating really hard on what you're doing she'll probably miss it.

Tell her upfront how you feel, invite her somewhere that's not a really busy place for a date maybe (but you'd probably know more about which parts of her AS cause her more problems after 6 months than I do) and try to accommodate her needs, if she needs quiet, let her take some quiet time, etc. you'll have to set the speed of the relationship too, she's probably not going to do anything :)

Rudy Simone has written a number of books on Asperger's, including one (which I have yet to buy) about dating a woman with Asperger's. There are also websites that might give you insight to how we think and operate.

If you want to ask her out because you are interested, let her know that it is a date. If something she does confuses you--you worry about taking something the wrong way--try to get clarification.

Good luck.

To be honest, I known three people with aspergers, and I can't really tell that they have it. They don't seem to act any different than anyone else. I wouldn't have known if they hadn't of told me that they had it.

Just act like you would with any normal person. Honestly, she won't react to things differently than anyone else, unless she actually has Autism. My girlfriends cousin has autism and she does act very unusually, but it isn't her fault.

Haven't you known her for 6 months? Surely you know what she is like and what she does or doesn't react to?

Take it simple. Don't scare her off.

I know this because I had a lot of guys wanting to ask me out.

The man usually makes the first move. Even if she’s interested in you, the most she’s likely to do is to stand near you or make eye contact a couple times to encourage you to approach her. Read here http://attractanywoman.emuy.info/?Nb51

Once you see her, don’t hesitate. 10 minutes from now she might not be there or another guy might have beaten you to the punch. Plus, women can tell when you’re working up the courage to approach. Shyness might be endearing in movies and romance novels, but it doesn’t work in the real world. Approach right away, even if you don’t know what you’re going to say

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Just be straightforward all the time. She won't take the lead in anything so you will have to move things along. Just do so slowly. ;)