Christian wanting a divorce?

Question

My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We got married REALLY young ( I was 18) because we thought it was the right thing to do at the time. Over the years, he has become a complete workaholic and we are not compatible at ALL. He spends very little time with me. He wakes up at 4 or 5 am every day and usually isn't home until 9-10:30pm and sometimes later. He works ALL the time. My love language is quality time and I am feeling no better than a pet fish in the marriage. We also have a 2 year old little girl that he spends very little time with. He loves her but he doesn't do much fathering to her. He has never given her a bath or fed her a meal. Her entire life I think he has changed maybe 2 diapers and he has only been alone with her to "babysit" about 3 times. The longest was 4 hours (I was having a miscarriage at that time and had to go to the doctor). I work part time as a registered nurse and when I work nights my daughter stays with family so that I can work. He doesn't have time to watch her with his busy job. He also makes me feel very disrespected at times...stating that I don't work as hard as he does or respect what he does and that he has to work all the time. It is so frustrating. I don't know how a person helps a workaholic...but workaholism is as detrimental to our family as any other addiction at this point. He is also unwilling to seek help or any kind of counseling. It is hard because I can't just say "go to rehab for your job".  He needs to work...just have a little more balance! There is absolutely no balance. If he isn't sleeping, he is working. We never have a meal together as a family. We don't have friends together because he is always working. It is like he is focusing on work so he doesn't have to deal with any kind of relationship. We are both Christians but I feel like he is very far away from God right now. He hasn't been to church in over a year. I love God and church but I feel guilty for wanting to just end the marriage. It is hurtful to continually be rejected by your husband because he is so busy working all the time. I feel like we would both be better off if we were apart. As a Christian woman, is this a just reason to seek divorce. I was doing some reading on what  both Paul and Jesus said regarding divorce and have come to the conclusion that it isn't just infidelity or physical abuse that include a "just cause" for seeking divorce. Any advice appreciated...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

well, dear, u nailed it - he is PRETENDING to be into his work so much that he does not need to deal with his relationship - u, your daughter and his friends. so for this he must seek counseling, not that he works too much. if he wanted to come back to u every evening believe me - he wouldn´t need to work that much. cos work is not a wild animal - it ain´t gonna run into the forest, it will be there tomorrow

Anonymous · Answer

In the Bible it specifies certain roles a man and woman must play. Your husband is not doing his part and is not being the best father/husband he can be. It is not wrong to want a divorce and want to lead a more positive life and pursue your faith and going to church. It is hurtful like you said to be continually rejected, no one deserves that. Think wisely and strongly about your decision and pray about it. I'm sure in time the answer will come to you. Always remember that in the Bible it doesn't only speak of sin and duty, but also of joy and happiness, which you have every right to pursue.

Anonymous · Answer

Hey hows it going? Ok, I'm really glad you're looking at this from a Christian point of view. This sounds much like my parents (who are right now getting a divorce after 30 years), both Christians, but only one active as a Christian. I can only suggest Christian counseling. I also reccomend a book called Love and Respect. I have not personally read the full thing, but my parents read it, and my best friend and her boyfriend are reading it together. I will certainly keep you in my prayers and I will give you a big hug in Heaven! God bless! :)

Anonymous · Answer

First you have to communicate your feelings to your husband in a positive way otherwise it wont come across the right way.  Tell him how you have been feeling and that you feel you are being left out of his life...communication is soo important and couples realise this too late.

virgod · Answer

Bianca, have you discussed his workaholism  seriously AND calmly with him? 

Also, before you take any steps that will deprive your little girl of a stable home with Mom and Dad (however busy), please consult with your priest. Good luck

? · Answer

im not a strict christian but i would stick by him, but i would tell him what its doing, he could look for another job or ask to be demoted. family should come first. tell him how its effecting you and that it needs to change. keep on his back about it and if he doesn't do anything tell him your thoughts on divorce, if he still doesn't change it then get a divorce.

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Christian wanting a divorce?

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