Christian wanting divorce?

We need to put the living God, and family first all of the time, for He for sure is not a part time God.

I am so sorry for your situation, and the pain that you are going through at this time.

Have you tried going to a female Christian counselor, and telling her what you have shared here? Right now you really have no marriage, and you two are just sharing the same house, and this is not pleasing to the Lord.

But, from my own experience I was told by my pastor's wife that he has got to want to change before there can be any change, and if he chooses or wills not to change then there is nothing more you can do for him. God cannot even go against the will of mankind. Sometimes love must be tough, and he may need to know that if things do not change at home then there may not be a home. We never have the right to abuse, and hurt others in any form of way. Be it neglect, hitting, are with words, and sounds like he is not living up to his vows to love you, and be there for you, and to comfort you.

A husband is to be to his wife what Christ is to the church. It says husbands love your wives as I also have loved the church. It did not say wives loves your husbands. But if a husband loves his wife, she will in turn love him, and want to freely submit to him. Husband are to be the mirror of Christ to his wife, for the church (Christians) are the bride of Christ, and he in no way would neglect, or hurt His bride the Church.

But yo need to find a good Christian lady who can trust in, or the pastor's wife, or a Christian counselor that can hear you out, and find out when all of this started to happen, and help you both to remember what it was that caused you fall in love in the beginning and bring this back into the marriage. But after you have done all you can and have prayed about this then the choice will be yours to make.

The best thing you can do is talk to him about it. I'd email him if he's always at work. Maybe that's the only way he'll get your message. Tell him that you're thinking about divorce and see what he says. If he's for it, then take that as just one more sign that he's over it and not that into you. If he's against it, find out what you can do to fix it. Maybe marriage counseling, or something like that. Why not show him that you appreciate the hard work that he's doing for you and your family (if he really is working all that time). You're an RN, so you are making pretty good money. Maybe you can pick up a few extra hours so he won't have to feel like he's the one supporting the family.

Unfortunately this is what happens when people marry young. You change over time and often times the person you fell in love with is not the same 5 or 10 years later. Can I ask why you "thought it was the right thing to do at the time"? Were you pregnant and felt guilty or something? Just curious.

I'm sorry for your situation, but you need to talk to him and either split or deal with it. Also, if he won't spend time with you, you can be sure he won't give up working to spend it sitting in a pew on sunday mornings. So, your'e best bet is to deal with it yourself. Hope it all works out for you! :)

***Re: your additional details. Ok, so if you need something major to happen, then separate. Take your stuff and go stay with family or something. See if he notices. If he does and actually cares about it, then deal with it then. If not, divorce it is. I think you're trying to find people to side with you on this, so if you honestly have made efforts to remedy the situation and he still doesn't care, then go drastic with separation..then divorce. Easy peasy. WHY is this even an issue for you at this point? HOW can you stay in a loveless marriage?

As a Christian I don't think divorce should ever be an option.In Luke 16:18 Jesus says:

Every one who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

.That being said unless action is taken divorce will be inevitable. I'm

Not fully aware of the situation but I

Can empathize with your situation. What you need to understand is that 10 years ago something really attracted you about your husband and the truth is that never really goes away it just gets buried deep under the cares and worries of this world. You need to show your husband how serious this is becoming. I recommend leaving the house and living with a relative until he is willing to go through couples counseling with a biblical focus do your research on who to go to as a bad therapist can only make things worse. If both of you are committed to the process I'm sure you guys will be able to reconnect what is missing in your relationship. He is a workaholic not because he loves work but because he is trying to avoid something at home. I'm not excusing how he is treating you but relationships are not one way both of you should examine what exactly the reason for this animosity is and try to move past it. Every couple in the world goes through what you both are going through. The ones who get passed this point are the ones who love eachother until the day they die and that is something really beautiful in this chaotic world. I hope I could help please give your marriage a try for the sake of your daughter and both of you. A loving marriage is an anchor for both your lives.

I have represented many Christians in divorce cases. Your husband has violated the marriage vows by abusing you and cheating on you, and refusing to go to counseling. Even the most conservative Christians I've represented believe that adultery is grounds for divorce. I think your responsibility to yourself and your children is very important. Your children need to be away from this abusive relationship because it is scarring them. If you are divorced, you will have the chance to meet a good man who can help you raise the children in a good Christian home. All the best to you. I know you have a tough decision.

Hi Bianca,

I am terribly saddened by your circumstances. And what you have read, from the Bible, is true. Infidelity is the only valid Biblical reason for divorce (Matt 19:9)

However, perhaps I've missed this, but have you spoken to your husband about this? It may be difficult to find time for this, so why not speak in 'his language' and make an 'appointment' with him to discuss something you think is important to both you and him?

You must be mentally prepared for rejection to that suggestion, and to try again. From what I understand, you seem to WANT to try, so, go at it!

Firstly, you wish to make a decision based on your faith and the Bible, so it is important to let him know your standards by which you make your decisions and actions. If he does not direct his actions on the same basis, then it will definitely be harder to communicate.

However, that does not mean you shouldn't try, instead, when you share your feelings with him, then you are doing your part as one half of the family unit. Without communication, how can there be a relationship or understanding even?

Secondly, you must find out what he wants for both of you. Regardless of his answer, be it positive or negative, do not react in an overly emotional manner. I mean no offense, but by reacting in such a manner, it will only encourage him to REDUCE communication as he wouldn't want to have to deal with too many emotions.

Finally, as best as possible, come to a conclusion. Do not let your conversation end without any final decision to be made. Either part with the understanding to think about it and come back to each other with a decision, or make the decision together by the end of the discussion.

It is really commendable of you to try to work out your problem in a manner which God approves.

I had many marriage problems before until I started praying about them. I'm sure you pray but I did too. It was when I read the "Power of a Praying Woman" and "Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian that I started slowly seeing changes. My husband didn't change over night but I see now 5 yrs later many many issues have changed. See your faith now can save your marriage. Your faith in God that God will intervene in your husbands life, thoughts, feelings, actions etc...

I understand that you just want to throw in the towel since you've tried many different approches to getting through him but let God now. You WILL see changes. Just have to be patient.

There is a verse in

1 Peter 3:1

1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any [of them] are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

You can also talk with your pastor and also ask for prayer if you feel comfortable that is.

Trust me though; read those 2 books I mentioned above; and you will see changes in you & your hubby.

If you need to write me so you can vent off more; feel free to do so.

I'm 44 yrs old, mother of 2 boys and still praying for my husband. God can do the impossible my friend.

Hope this has helped.

May God give you the strength to go on and fight for your husband through prayer.

God Bless you & your family.

I am sorry to hear of your pain. An unhappy marriage can be very painful, but even more devastating is a divorce

Like you, I had contemplated divorce but when it happend it was the worst thing ever. The pain and misery it will cause to you and future generations will be worse than what you are experiancing. God wants you to be in a happy relationship.

Work at it. Everything is possible. As mentioned Power of a Praying Wife is a must to read. www.free-christian-divorce-advice.com gives legal advice on divorce but warns of the folly of this option for christians.

I can appreciate the conundrum that seems to have you perplexed at best, and despairing at worse.

I believe that there are steps you should take before calling it quits for good. I would seriously recommend that you listen to good counselors who will steer you in the right direction. I listen to "New Life Live" a Christian counseling program and while reading your question, I thought of some of the answers they give in regards to questions from callers that have similar situations as you.

They are also on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/DrTownsendsPage?sk=wall

I think they would say that it sounds as if your husband has already divorced you. BUT I may be wrong; perhaps he does think that his work is his way of showing his love to you. Pls. try the facebook page I gave you and also the book, whose like I've included at the bottom of this page.

Wishing you well,

You should go to a marriage counselor. It is not your place to diagnose him as a workaholic, you are a nurse not a psychologist or an addiction specialist. And further more you are emotionally involved with the subject so even if you were you still would not be fit to diagnose him. Set a time for counseling. If you don't want to do that, then stop trying to figure out a loop hole in your religion to do what you want to do. I am certain that God hates cowardice thinking like that.

Divorce isn't your answer....quality time for each other and your daughter is. And you are cheating each other, as well as cheating your daughter of your love, time, and affection.

Unless he's having an affair, he hasn't yet realized that the extra money he is earning is coming right out of the time he could be, giving to you and to his child.

You all are getting cheated.

Get yourselves into counseling and very soon...........in the next two weeks................. or be looking at the next 25 years with the same lack of enjoyment you are presently experiencing.