Please kindly comment .This is written for my coming birthday.?

Excellent work. May you enjoy many more of them (birthdays and poems).

ttteo032

Very good poem. Not sure how related to birthday except of course the passage of time. Funny you should mention TIME. I am now writing a poem called "The Time Machine."

Read you poem ab ovo to conclusion, and that takes for me something worthy. However, I think it could be made better with this subject by a different format, w/ quads, tighten the shorter sentences and develop a rhyme scheme for this---all IMHO, to improve on what already is a good write.

So alone, as is, well done, and I walk away with a smile. I love the subject of time, and you have described it well. If you are a young bloke, it goes faster than you can imagine, so live it to the hilt.

An excellent, heartfelt composition, ttteo032

Answers judge a member's mind.

Truth is often hard to find.

Short and thoughtful. most concise,

Often subtle wise advice.

If I had one wish for you?

Never suffer false abuse.

Find your writing vanished, gone?

Now just echoed brain neurons?

Once deleted, fools charade

Poems live on in hearts displayed

Time has become but my friend,

Clearing my tears and healing

When no one else heard

My calls into the night.

Time picked me up again,

Guarded me from the dark,

Slowing mending my wounds.

Time is not the enemy,

But my savior.

Nice! I like the title, especially. I understand what you're saying, as my birthday soon also approaches. "...slows my physical aspects" is a great line, showing that we CAN'T be all that we used to be!

Your command of the language is evident; one place sticks out to me, though. L9...shouldn't the last word be "circumstance", rather than "circumstances"?

This is a very nice read, and it makes one think...a lot. Thank you for sharing.

Edit: BTW -- my adopted brother (just above me) is right!

Reminds me of a song,Time is on my Side. Rolling Stones

This i'm sure you will like.Ecclesiastes..The Preacher CH.3

For everything there is a season,

And a TIME for every matter under Heaven.

very nice poem,made me think.

bye...