is "taking for granted" a bad sign?

Question

Me and my husband were married for two years now and have a 1 year old kiddo.
Well it was all good at the beginning. But now we always fight and argue.We have opposite opinions.
He became more rude when he had his new job.
He's always yelling at me. He took me for granted for many times and in different ways.
Ways like, i finish my shift late and he never insisted to fetch me. He doesn't call me when he's away he'd rather call his friends than to give me Hi. He's cold like, he doesn't want me to go near him when i want to hug him and all. My friends just told me not to think about it and go with the flow. But, it's really sucks! I'm trying to make it up with him. I wrote him letters, sent him sweet messages and get nothing. :l

? · Accepted Answer

Yes, I think it's a a very bad sign and you should listen to your gut feeling. Your husband might even be having an affair - it wouldn't surprise me, the way he behaves towards you! If you "go with the flow", you'll certainly be heading towards a divorce. First of all, I would suggest that you calmly confront your husband about the situation. Tell him that you feel that he doesn't have the same feelings towards you any more. You feel that you're arguing a lot and that the relationship is on the rocks. Ask him what he thinks about it and if he would consider that the two of you do some counseling or couples therapy. If he becomes defensive and refuses to cooperate, you can begin to do the therapy on your own. For your own sake and your child's sake, you need to do something about this situation, or it will get out of control. I wish you all the best.

? · Answer

It's "taken for granted", meaning that ones expectations concerning a situation or person are presumed fulfilled before they actually are. People tend to expect something that has continually been a certain way, and this they tend to do out of habit more than anything else. By definition your husband isn't taking you for granted. He is simply refusing to apply any extra effort to his interactions with you. Why he is doing so is the question. If it was good at the beginning the something has changed drastically enough since then, either with you or him or the both of you. You writing him letters and such isn't addressing the heart of the problem but only the symptoms, I imagine. Whatever the cause is and continues to be, it is that you need to address and not the fallout from the cause.

High Roller · Answer

Sounds like this man is falling out of love with you.  Writing him letters and sending sweet messages won't solve the problem.  Ask him if he wants to stay in the marriage and go from there.

? · Answer

Go with the flow? Sorry, that is the worst thing that you could do. You explained your feels to him. Ball is in his court. Don't allow him to take you for granted. Your responsible for it too. Writing letters and placating him allows him to take you for granted and not respect you.

Edit: someone is playing the victim card.

NO U DIN&quot;T · Answer

you're too nice to him. tell him to go F himself and he'll come running.

Trending News

is "taking for granted" a bad sign?

5 Answers