Moved around a lot and am an only child to a single parent so I have an issue.?

I was shy and slow to make friends, also. My single parent mom was what they would call today, "neglectful." My mom worked 3 jobs. We are white. Her "thing" was she liked to live in motels and move every month or so. So I went to a different school every few months. This is how I grew up. I was pretty friendly but never had kids come over because my mom drank and she said she'd bad things would happen if anybody found out she drank. Because she drank she was also moody. I ended up marrying a guy who stole all my money. I got nothing in return, not even love. I got fired. Now I live in a shelter in some city. I have a son who is very self centered, he's 20 and has 4 kids and his dad pays for all of them. His dad divorced me. I date men but all I care about is getting laid and all these men do is talk ****. I live in Texas so every 3rd person is a cop. I'm from New England so I'm not used to getting arrested and going to jail every time I leave my son's dads house even to walk to the mailbox. His Dad got a $75k raise suddenly. I live with him. His Dad is strange. In 20 yrs. marriage we only had sex 3 times. His dad talks a lot of sh++. He takes off sometimes for weeks at a time. I have a friend who I never see because I don't even know where she lives or if she even remembers me, she has my # but never calls me, emails, writes not 1x and we're both 50 yrs. old now.. I had another friend dump me because I'm pro choice. That's a dumb reason to quit being a friend to somebody imo. We agreed on the important stuff. My parents were neglectful. If I complained about something they'd slap me on the face. They didn't have insurance on me and I almost died a few times because the hospital refused to treat me. They both had jobs with benefits they intentionally didn't get insurance for me and it was free to add me on, very curious. Well now I have damaged lungs and heart. My husband beat me and told me to make more money. My mom told me she didn't think I should get married. My kid sees a lot of violence. It turned him violent. He likes to sucker punch me. He knocks me out. Then the old man comes home and sees the house in disarray and flies into a rage and knocks me out. The guys in Texas are weird. They want to talk about sex and maybe a bj but to me that's not sex. I met this other guy who asked me to move in with him and I did and 2 days later he called the police and told them I was a burglar so I ran from the cops, that was 4 yrs. ago and they're still looking for me but I was GIVING this man things, the only thing I took from there was a few showers, drank some water, ate a few sandwiches but I gave him a case of cokes, some dvd's, some lysol spray, shampoo, body wash, dish soap, basically I bought him hundreds of dollars worth of stuff...next time I saw him he called the police and told them I hit him in the head, he said constable's looking for me to serve me he's going to civil sue me for damages but I didn't hit him, I talked to him for around an hour. Maybe he's not understanding what I'm saying to him (?) So I live on the streets, go in and out of jail. Sometimes I go to shelters but I feel weird while I'm there. Sometimes I stay in motels but it's LONELY doing that by myself all the time. I lost custody of my child and I used to do things with my child. I have a Master's degree but now I'm hooking. Because of my criminal record nobody wants to deal with me. I want my son back but my lawyer said with all of my convictions it might not be possible. Does no judge or anybody care that his father who has custody has a criminal record as long as my arm plus he doesn't even have any education...at least I have one. To get him back I have to have a job and a 2 bedroom home and it still might not be enough. I worry about us alone in the world together, our safety. I can't get a gun because I have no money for a gun. I got arrested it was a huge scandal here in Texas, they gave me no bond, I told them I wanted to get a paid lawyer but I didn't realize I had no way for 3 months of contacting anybody from jail. In 3 months they give you a pen, paper, 3 envelopes and 3 stamps. Then nobody said they'd find a lawyer for me. I kept going to court, I wouldn't talk so they labeled me a bipolar schizophrenic and demanded I be injected with drugs 2x a day. I can talk but they kept rushing me to give an answer but I needed time to remember. I get arrested and put in jail and I'm not even told what I'm charged with because I speak 6 languages they make me translate stuff I get released and ask them to hire me they tell me NO I have a criminal record so they just keep arresting me, putting me to work inside the jail as a translator, convicting me of whatever, releasing me and re arresting me eventually. I want to stop gett