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Should I move out of home?
Hi Guys
So here's my problem.
My father is very controlling, I've never been to school (because my dad didn't want me to, so I was homeschooled), I'm not allowed to get a job, I'm not allowed to drive, my dad hates the fact that I have a boyfriend (In the two months my bf and I have been going out he hasn't even said 1 word to him) and he gets into arguments with me and my mum about me having a boyfriend. I feel very stressed all the time because of the tension in the house and I feel like I can't take it much longer. I have enough money to support myself for about 2 or 3 months, but if I moved out getting a job would be the first thing I would do. And because I'm not allowed out I only have my bf and 1 other friend who I only get to see once a week, I see my bf about 3 or 4 times a week but I have to invite him over when my dads at work so he doesn't know (my mum knows though), my mum and I are really close and we talk about everything, so I told her how I feel and she agreed with me that I would probably never have a normal life until I moved out.
What do I do?
And if my boyfriend would want me to move in with him would it be ok cos we've only been going out for two months?
And please don't say to try and talk to my dad, I have tried several times and each time he just gets angry and starts shouting or telling me that I have to do what he wants until I'm 18 (which is not true as I have checked and I can legally move out of home now), and then walks off. So trying to talk to him is out of the question.
And by the way I'm 16 (17 in three weeks).
3 Answers
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
You seem really fed up with your father. If it's to such an extent that it limits how you come and go and your mom agrees with you, then moving out is a pretty good idea.
However: make sure you have a STABLE job before you move out. Get a job at a good place that you KNOW you can stick with because it's going to be your life line. Since you're not used to working, it's going to be tough, but stick it out. Don't tell your dad, but if your mom can keep it from him, tell her. Remember, once you move out, you can't come begging them to let you come back because you couldn't support yourself.
Another thing, don't depend on your boyfriend, You've only been dating for 2 months so don't expect too much, we're so young, things change with time. And living with your boyfriend isn't all it's up to be. It takes cooperation from both sides. You can live with him until you find somewhere suitable etc. But don't count on him too much.
Last thing: don't hate your dad. He might get pissed to hell, and won't talk to you but don't hate him and treat him the same. Remember, he fed, clothed, and sheltered you for 16 years and although you guys don't agree, you're still family. In time, he'll come around and realize that his little girl only wanted to get out and see the world for herself. Make friends, meet people, because from your description your surroundings are a bit sheltered, you need to learn how to deal with people and go to places in order to survive when you grow up. Your dad might eventually realize it. Don't get carried away and start partying like mad everyday though, focus and moderate yourself, it pays in the end.
TOODLES ;D
- 9 years ago
How exactly do you plan on supporting yourself if you leave? Don't move in with a boyfriend, especially with as young as you are and you've only been dating for a few months.
Perhaps you can find a sympathetic friend whose family will take you in for the time being. Renting a room might be another option. Moving out at your age is a huge change, don't expect it to be easy.
