Should a bride-to-be give up her dream wedding?

Lol...welcome to marriage.

There are going to be times when you both have strong (but opposing) views on things and you have to figure it out.

If you think this is hard then wait until you have mother-in-law problems or arguments over money or how to raise the kids or religion or where to live or whether the dog should be allowed on the bed or not.

Don't get caught up in who is "right" about the wedding. Your focus should be on whether the two of you have a process for communicating and resolving conflicts that is conducive to a loving, lasting marriage.

P.S. I know you intellectually know the wedding is only half yours, but emotionally I think you still have a pretty strong sense of possession. After all, you've been dreaming of "YOUR" wedding since you were a youngster. Isn't it better to focus on who you're marrying than the wedding itself? The wedding will last one day....your husband is there everyday for a lifetime. He will be the one you trust to take care of you and your children if you become sick or disabled. I'm just sayin.....put it into perspective already.

Compromise and have a late summer wedding. If I had severe allergies, I would probably not agree to a spring wedding.

Each of them sounds like they aren't mature enough for marriage. The groom being saddened by a natural passage of time is bizarre, and the bride ruling out a quarter of the year because it's "cliched" is just as bad. (Though as I said, I understand the allergies part of it.)

Disagreeing on a wedding date isn't a reason to break up. If you can't reach a compromise on a wedding date, perhaps then a break up, or at least postponement of the marriage is wise, until such time as both of them are mature enough to realise that the wedding is for one day, and the marriage is for life.

Well as the bride has allergies, I would go for the fall wedding as you dont want a watery eyed/red nosed bride in all of the photographs.

But if he is willing to call off the wedding over it...I believe this marriage is doomed from the start anyway.

How about an early September wedding?

Not too far from the heat of summer, but without all the pollen.

How old is the couple in question? If a wedding date is worth breaking up over, the marriage wasn't meant to be in the first place. I say marriage because that's what the bride and groom should be focusing on. It seems to me that they only want a wedding; a big party with none of the responsibilities that come with marriage. Compromise and have the wedding in late August or early September or, better yet, take some time to reevaluate what's really important here.

If they're having disagreements about something like this, they should sit down and have a long talk. The wedding lasts a day compared to the number of years a good marriage lasts. It really shouldn't matter when they get married, just that they'll be spending the rest of their life with each other.

I'm gonna agree with the other person. just have a summer wedding if you think spring is cliched.

If THIS is something that is already bringing their relationship into question, they have no clue what it is to become one with another person for the rest of their lives. Apparently each has a selfish streak, and an unwillingness to compromise.

This relationship has some serious issues from the get go. Wow. I think some pre-wedding counseling would be a good idea to bring out the underlying issues!!

Yes, she should. Childhood dreams are just dreams. The groom is being silly if his only reason not to have an autumn wedding is because it seems downbeat (is he just being contrary because her Dream is being put above his desires?), but the bride would be foolish to go to the mat with her beloved for the sake of a childhood fantasy that can never, ever be real. Reality is awesome, it flogs childhood fantasies to a pathetic pulp. Embrace it.

Since neither party is willing to back down, there are limited choices here.

The most obvious would be to break up over this. I suspect this is but one of a series of disagreements and standing ground - only we haven's heard those yet.

The second would be for the couple to enter counseling for a period of at least 6 months. This will give each of them the opportunity to air their concerns in a safe, moderated environment - as well as to learn effective ways to communicate with each other over sensitive issues.

I would make counseling a requirement for the marriage - much more than a particular date for the wedding

If they can't agree on a wedding date, it probably is best they break up. How would they ever survive in marriage?

To answer the title question, a mature bride-to-be realizes it is not when the wedding is that makes it a dream wedding, but who she is marrying.

then it may not be the right guy if that is a reason not to marry

i can both of their points

the bride is also asking the groom to give up his dream of the kind of wedding he wants

in my experience, the woman often is the one that gives in and compromises

peace