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pixie
Lv 5
pixie asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 9 years ago

Which is better in a struggling marriage?

I am having a tough time making a decision, I love my husband very much, but we just don't work well together. This is making things harder with my husband not working to better himself even though he wants to. Should I stay hoping things get better, or leave him? I think I am having such a hard time because if I leave him, it is over, and I will always wonder if things would have gotten better.

Update:

To add details to the marriage:

1. We have been married 7 years

2. We have 3 children together, ages 6, 3, and 1.

3. I work, and he stays home with the kids. (But I do all house work and child care when I am home).

Update 2:

FYI: Our marriage has been struggling since before the economy collapse, I have stuck it out for a roller coaster 6 years. I am just exhausted, and the way I look at it, the kids will end up in a home that is less stressed and calmer (my husband also has anger management problems). He doesn't have a job because of his own mistakes, not because of the economy. Also, he doesn't want to better himself, I have been trying to help him get his license, go to school so he can get a job, and take care of himself better but he wants nothing to do with it. I don't think it is just the 7 year itch, because I have been thinking like this for a while, or maybe a lot of marriages are like this and it takes 7 years to realize it is over.

4 Answers

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  • RuthAnn
    Lv 7
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    How bad does he want to stay married?

    Tell him to shape up or ship out.

    If U R the breadwinner he has to play Mr. MOM -- no excuses.

    There could be some chores U guys share, but he needs to pull his fair share.

  • Be Different!
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    It sounds like you are going through some tough times right now... The economy is pretty weak for employment, and it is putting a lot of stress on marriages (not just yours). When you got married, didn't you vow to be committed to each other for better, or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor, and cherish each other so long as you both shall live?

    You have three kids to consider. What will you be telling them should you separate and/or divorce? When the going gets tough, the tough...bail, jump ship... leave? I guarantee you, it will affect the kids if you divorce (or separate).

    Do you have any kind of support network? A church? Good friends that have been married for 15 years or more? Talk to them. Get some help. You CAN make this marriage work, even though you may not see the way through the storm right now...

  • Invisible Pink RN
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    Sounds like the 7 year itch ...

    You took a vow - for better or for worse - if this is the worst it gets consider yourself lucky! Your health insurance should cover counseling for the 2 of you

  • ?
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    Get counseling and do NOT leave him.

    For better or for worse. You took a vow now keep it.

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