Is it better for me to be unhappy, or for my kids to grow up without a dad?

this is two sides of the same coin what i mean is... growing up without a dad sucks (thats how i grew up) but growing up with an unhappy mom sucks too (had one of those too) i dont think that you should scarifce your self just to have a dad for you kids. instead of dissvoliving the marriage maybe you could try to repair it. you were in love with that man once enough to have his children. enough to vow to stay with him untill you die. you dont say how old your kids are, and truthfully they will miss thier dad, just as they would feel the loss of you, if he was to get custody. you say that you dont fight, maybe you could both live in the house but have seperate lives. that seems like the best solutution. good luck and hope it works out for you.

Man alive. There is something very important that you are completely missing here. If you are in an unhappy marriage, your kids are then subjected to the utmost dysfunction which will have a severe adverse effect on their psyche. So, let's be honest here and rephrase the question:

Would your kids be better off with emotional upheaval on a daily basis while their parents fight and despise one another or be better off being raised by a happy mother without a father?

DUH. Divorce is the answer.

Listen, their father is not FOREVER going to be working out of state. That could change the day after tomorrow. So, stop wimping out and basing your decision to leave your unhappy marriage based on a job their father has because jobs change regularly.

THINK. Please. THINK.

EDIT: Well, from the sound of it, he will be working out of state, permanently. So, your kids will not have a father around while they are growing up if you are married OR divorced anyway. So, what is the problem? Why not just divorce and find yourself some happiness. You are living without this guy anyway. Right??

Rule1...If Mom is not happy, kids are not happy. Kids can feel negative vibes, and if you and Dad are fighting or share tension all day, they know no matter how much you try to "pretend" in front of them.

Rule2...Kids cannot and do not hold a marriage together...so no you should never stay in a relationship that is unhealthy "for the kids"

Rule 3...If your husband wants to see his kids more often, or if his wanting to stay is all about the kids, trust me he will make a way to see them no matter what. And from the sounds of your question, you love your kids and would be more than accommodating.

In summary, life is too short to be unhappy. You do have children to worry about, but nothing is stopping you and hubby from being good parents even though you don't live together. You guys need to work something out to where you guys and the kids will make it through this transition as smoothly as possible. Good luck and I'm sorry you have to make such a tough decision.

It is only depend on your Choice.

First do not divorce and live with kids. For children, this is best case. But you will be difficult. You may dislike the mom of kids. Also still there is possibility to recover love of her.

Or in future, after kids are grown up, than you can divorce.

Second divorce and take care children by yourself. This case kids are difficulties of loosing mom.

Third divorce and leave the family. Than the kids will grow with mom. This case there is possibility that the mom will be not diligent for caring kids due to her love to new bf.

All choice is yours.

You need to think about what is best for them. Are they young enough to adjust to not seeing their dad as often? Would they understand why you did what you did? It will be hard on everyone no matter the age, but younger kids adjust better than older kids. Older kids tend to blame the providing parent for the divorce. Get ready for backlash.

But to answer your question. You deserve to be happy. Regardless of what happens with your ex and the kids. When they get older they will understand. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness. =)

Life is short and kid grow so fast be gone before you know it

take the bull by the horn and make yourself happy let the husband

Figure out how to blance job - and see his kids just be there

When he calls find your happiness and take care of the kids who say

You can't have both worlds now - make it work - time is of and essence

Have you already tried to fix your marital problems with no effort from him? If so, it's best to be in a situation where the kids are able to see their dad often. That might mean moving so you're nearer to him if he really can't/won't be able to see them more often.

Short answer: your childrens happiness supersedes yours. Stay for them. That's what I'm doing.