telling child about biological father?

This is a situation where I feel like it would almost be better to never tell him :( how sad. I know you should DEFINITELY keep the details of why/how he died to yourself at the very least until he is an adult. I would probably never mention the drugs or suicide. Just say he had an accident or something less traumatic. I'm usually one for full honesty with kids but I don't see any good coming from your son knowing all that :( sorry

My middle child has never seen or met her father. She had always thought that my husband was her father. I told her last year when she was 5 that she had another dad. I explained it to her in a way she could understand. He is still alive though, and she did have some questions, which I answered. She doesn't even bring it up anymore.

On the other hand when I myself was 15 or 16 my own mother told me that the man I had thought was my father possibly could not be. That someone else could be my father. I was devastated. I felt like I had been lied to my whole life or that my whole life was a lie. Truth be told, I did resent my mom for not telling me when I was younger.

I think you should tell him now. If he shows any signs of having a difficult time with it take him to some counseling sessions.

I would never suggest not telling him at all. I feel that everyone has a right to know who their parents are.

My father always called my grandmother by her first name. One day when I was about 7, I asked him why he doesn't call his mother mom? He told me that she was not his mother, at first I didn't make the connection after all I was only 7, my brother at the time was only 5. My grandmother got really upset and my father told me that his real mother left my grandfather to marry another man. I walked over to her and gave her a big hug, she asked me why I was hugging her. I told her that she was the only grandma I have, problem solved it never came up again. My two brothers and I never met my father's biological mother, even if we did it wouldn't have changed anything. Kids figure things out on their own, if he asks explain what happened I bet nothing will change.

Ever since I found out my dad wasnt ''really'' my dad i never looked at him the same..I have a biological father and wish i'd never been told. My dad has always been there for me ever since i was born he was always my dad and i always thought he was biologically. But i was wrong. I found out when i was ten that he wasnt really my ''dad'' But he still is.. maybe not technically but in my heart he really is if you know what i mean. If your fiance has always been there for your son and he loved him and always called him dad dont ruin it.. telling your son will only make things more complicated.

Its complicated, its all depends from child. if he mature enough he should understand but again its a big stress no matter how strong the person is. good luck