Pros and cons of newlyweds living with the parents for a while?

When me an my husband first got married, we did the same exact thing. We moved in with his parents so that we can save money and finally move out on our own. except it was the other way around, my husband was finishing his law degree and i was the only one working...

My advise - money is not worth your sanity!!!!!! my in laws are pretty great but there are things that you will have to face that you will have no other choice because 1. you are not in your house 2. you are not the head of that house, so you dont run things there and 3. because you are living with you hubbys family which is their son that they have taken care of, so who the hell are you... Stupid things such as your husband gets sick and your MIL is going to want to tell you how to take care of your husband, how to wash his clothes, etc etc....

Being married is different than being BF/GF you are 1 now and there are things that you need to learn and addapt with each other and those things you need to face alone. Its hard when you are getting to know your husband at a different level now and you have someone listening to what you do and talk about... You come home and your pist off at your husband, where are you going to go ? the living room where your MIL is going to be seeing everything and opinioning.. TRUST ME, no matter how good they are, you would go nuts.

Me and my husband only lasted a month before we decided its better to move into an efficency. It doesnt matter if its a little tiny place where you live, but its just the 2 of you and you are building your foundation together and you want to keep a good relationship with his family and the best way to do that is to have space and for boundaries to be set..

In my opinion, if your are not financially stable enough to have your own place after you get married, you have no business getting married. Parents are there to raise you as children, not hold your hand and have you be a burden on their time, space, and energy, until you feel you are ready to leave the nest. Marriage is about making a life with the person you love. It's not really a new life if you are still living the old one with another added person.

1. I had to move back into my parents home after I got divorced. We were there for 2 months and it was horrible. Even though I contributed to everything, it was their home and their rules.

2. If one of my kids had just gotten married, I would want them, and new in-law, to get out! At that point I would be done raising my kids and sure as hell don't want to add another one on top of it.

Look, even though this might be the ideal situation for you, that doesn't mean it is for the people you're moving in with. I'm all for family helping each other, but you're talking about years. Years that parents have been looking forward to for going to the bathroom with the door open, walking around naked in their own house, not having to pick up after anyone else, etc. Find yourselves a cheap one bedroom and be adults!

There is NEVER a good reason for newlyweds to live with their parents...it just doesn't end well. It's hard enough to adjust to marriage but add the pressures of extended family and it's just a recipe for disaster.

If you two can't afford your own place - wait the 14 months, save your money while waiting, then marry and move in together. What's another 14 months anyways? Here and gone in the blink of an eye!

while it sounds good from a money point of view, I would advise against it for more than a few weeks. when you get married you are starting your own family and it can be hard enough if your in laws merely live in close proximity to you. if you are living in their house you will probably be expected to live by their rules. even if you don't you will have them watching your every move, intentionally or otherwise and this can put a lot of pressure on a newly wed couple. we are in our first year of marriage and we are both students. we rent a flat and during the holidays go and stay with our respective families for a week. it is lovely to see them, but even after that short time it is always a relief to get back to our own home. I most certainly couldn't do it for a couple of years. of course it depends on the family.

The only Pro is that maybe you live with parents while you save money to get a house... or at least to get your feet under you, then again, if your feet are not under you then you have no business getting married.

If you are ready to be husband and wife it means that the two of you can look out for each other and it is time for parents to be able to pull back from keeping a roof over your head.

In America kids are raised to get the hell out of the house.... in other countries and cultures families live together as a functioning unit. Siblings, cousins, wives, husbands, etc. The only problem with the American system is that it is getting harder and harder for parents to send children out in the world in a position to thrive. Working part time at Taco Bell and part time at the Olive Garden is not good enough.

My wife and I started off in one bedroom apartment and built ourselves up from nothing... looking back now... those times, those years of growth and appreciation are the foundation of everything that our love is built upon. I would do almost anything not to lean on parents or in-laws that much.

No.

In theory it sounds good, but in reality it may prove to be a disaster. When you choose to live under another’s roof, your life really never becomes your own. Even with all the diplomacy and smiles, you will still have to live by and abide by their way of life. You have no right to expect or anticipate any lasting compromises. Additionally when you choose to (help out $$) this might become an expectation, and with that, you might just consider you have purchased some rights and privileges, all of which do not exist.

If it were me, I would just get a small place of your own, and not “lean” on your parents, or others for that matter, until it is truly becomes necessary, not just a nicety.

Pros 1. Rent free 2. Less responsibility 3. I'd get to see my family everyday 4. I have my own responsibility and take care of myself CONS 1. never really getting any privacy 2. I wouldn't be able to do certain things around my mother. 3. I'd have to watch my language or get smacked in the face (i have terrible mouth) 4. couldn't smoke ganja 5. I couldn't have a life outside of school and work 6. I would have my mother tellin me what to do, how to dress, act, raise my daughter. couldn't handle it, too many cons, lol. I left home when I was 15 and never turned back, now my mother and I are the best of friends..we use to hate eachother.

I'm honestly against that. Mothers in law are usually jealous of their daughters in law, and they usually have a critical look at them. You must agree that when you look at somebody like that its not difficult to find their shortcomings, since no one is perfect.

It can lead to conflicts. Taking sides etc...

If its only his grandfather that is going to live with the 2 of you, that shouldn't be a problem. You will have your own place, you can cook for them, help him with the bills and cleaning house.

I would suggest you to give it a try. And see what happens. If you see that its not going to work, you can always move out.

no!!

if old enough to marry,old enough to take care of yourself

do not use ,"save for a house" as an excuse.

nice they offered,but,way better that you do not,two families cannot live under one roof

edit..redpeach said it the best

i have grown kids so would not allow it to happen. al the young people on here will disagree,but,she is 100% right

kids should not expect to have what their parents have when they get married. it took the parents maybe 25 years to earn what they have

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