Why do people have kids before getting married?

I think it's great if two people love each other and are committed to each other. That's wonderful. But the truth of the matter is that being born out of wedlock is not the ideal situation for a child. I think that the parents were irresponsible and were thinking only "in the moment" and not thinking about the effect their irresponsible behavior would have on the child they created. The child pays the price for the parent(s) lack of responsibility. Granted, each situation is different,so if this doesn't apply to you,or your situation is "different" then there's no reason to get offended. My views and opinions don't come from a religious view whatsoever as I am neither religious nor puritan. My views come from having viewed these situations far too many times.....WAY TOO MANY and always it is the child who suffers the most. Too often women/men who have a child out of wedlock or as teens end up being single parents...and what happens later on? They want to go and fulfill THEIR PERSONAL NEEDS. They want to go and find what they have missed out on and in the mean time the child is the one who is neglected and/or uncomfortable. When you turn around and call these people selfish, they get offended and all I can think is that they were a part of getting themselves into the predicament they are in, so is too much to ask that they be parents and put their needs aside? NO, IT ISN'T.But sadly that is not what they want to hear nor is it what most will do. Now, does waiting to be married to have a child guarantee that you'll be a happy family? No, but it means that you at the very least tried to do things correctly and are showing your child a good example.

Marriage is not just about a piece of paper and many (not all) of the people who say it is are usually not married, have never been proposed to by their child's parent, or have never asked someone to marry them, and/or already had a child out of wedlock so they have no choice in the matter but to say it doesn't matter to them. "The deed to your house is ‘just a piece of paper.’ Your apartment lease agreement, your car registration, your check on payday, your driver’s license and so many more things qualify under the title of ‘just a piece of paper.’ But you make sure that you have these in place, and you are very protective of them. High school diplomas, certificates of completion, college degrees are all ‘pieces of paper.’ But, they are highly valued. Shouldn’t you value the most important relationship in your life at least as much as you do your house, car, or level of education?”

iam with u must get married before having children if living together and marriage is similar why cant u just get married

My husband and I planned our first child before marriage and proposal... why, cause we were in love and wanted to start a family. He proposed while I was pregnant, and we married when she was 1. We had another daughter 3 years later... still married with two beautiful little girls ♥

Because nobody cares what the bible says.

I'm not having kids until I get married. People know what the bible says.

It's just they don't give a care. God gives people free will.

People keep choosing to shack up and living in sin.

I'm also not having sex until I get married.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

God will judge adulterers and fornicators. People are not scared right now.

On Judgment Day every single adulterer and fornicator will have to explain to God himself why they didn't do things God's Way. Seriously.

It seems like sin is a good thing now.

Because people don't see nothing wrong with it.

Maybe because not everyone puts the same value on a piece of paper and a few pretty words. The legal benefits of being married are exagerrated and almost all are possible without it "being official". I can't understand why anyone would care about this aspect of other people's lives, it doesn't affect you at all. I'll chalk it up to being just one more opportunity to look down your nose at others.

Because I wanted to.How I choose to live my life is of no concern to others.I follow the law,I look after my son and I hurt nobody.By the way,being married has nothing to do with being a parent - even if the marriage breaks up,you still have to be parents together.Completely seperate relationships and so they should be

I doubt many people are doing it on 'purpose' if they plan on marrying the person who they are with.

Not everyone wants to get married.

My girlfriend is in her 30's and as I know you must be aware, women loose their fertility in their 30's so it was a choice of marriage and the year or so of planning and stress - and then a year or 2 to enjoy married life together, or baby. We can get married anytime, but only have a couple of years to create a family naturally.

Simple reason.

And would I do anything differently - No.

We will get married when our family is complete. To us marriage isn't hugely important. Our daughter has my partner's surname and we are happy and healthy. Nothing else really matters. Our daughter couldn't care less if we are married. She's having a good upbringing and that's important to us not marriage. It's what suits each household.

Why is it so important to you? It's not as if I could get married in white anyway so I may aswell break another rule.

Edit: At toxic:

my parents married because of me and got divorced after telling me i was the reason they were together and would never divorce and I'm being selfish? My daughter is happy that her parents love each other and don't argue. We are not being selfish. In our opinion it doesn't make much difference but I would never think bad of those who are married. That's their choices. What does it matter to me? Nothing. Aslong as they're doing what suits them who cares.

Because not everybody wants to get married.God doesn't force people to do things,He wouldn't either. You have no right either. Nobody else does.

edit:Also i would love my children to be at my wedding!