Praise for my home. c/c, please?

Question

THE GEM OF THE MOUNTAINS
**************************************

'America the Beautiful'
could have been written
about my home state...

"For beautiful and spacious skies"
Thats a state near us.

Except "amber waves of grain"
would be
"green leaves standing proud".

"For purple mountains majesties"
would work.
"Above the fruited plain"
would be 
"above the evergreens or sagebrush"

Obviously,
"America, America"
would be 
"Idaho, oh Idaho".

"God shed his grace on thee"
wouldn't be changed!
"And crown thy good with brotherhood"
couldn't work...state split thoughts.

"From sea to shining sea"
We're landlocked...

"And here we have Idaho,
winning her place in fame.
Silver and gold
in the sunlight blaze,
and romance lies in her name".

Never forget your home;
nor how you feel about it.
Love is always there
sometimes you have to look for it!



Always an Idaho boy, I'll never forget my roots!  (Who could?  That's where our spuds come from!)  Just a quickie that hit me as I was typing.

? · Accepted Answer

I smiled reading this because your love of where you grew up rings out throughout.  You've turned this into a fine tribute.

A slightly different spud country is where my family came from too, but a long time ago.

? · Answer

Well, now I`ve a picture in my mind of Idaho
I can add that to the `ski` which always now come to mind
when someone mentions Idaho.
This though is not your best poem
yet it`s enjoyable to have info from a native of Idaho, Ski.

? · Answer

Well this is honest and forthright.
I am also fond of a state that begins with an "I".
Illinois.  It will always be the promised land for me, because I was happy there.
I will never be there again - but I can remember.
Oh - and I like potatoes (boos and hissing from the audience).

Abigail · Answer

Umm, it honestly doesn't flow that well. You could dress it up with some better vocabulary. It doesn't sound too eloquent, which his how poems are usually supposed to come across as. Also, it has no rhythm. This is probably because your stanza lengths are all over the place. 
It could be better.
Have a nice day.

Anonymous · Answer

well I been too many places to call any of them home for long, 
I loved Washington best 
cus that's where I was born... 

I guess.

interesting *poem*

THE BANNIBAL ONE · Answer

Yes ,a very nice poem on a very nice day.
bye..

Anonymous · Answer

good write...
at least as good as someplace other than Texas should be able to motivate.
;)

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Praise for my home. c/c, please?

7 Answers