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My poem for assessment: “A Dark Mystery” of the universe pondered from the seat of the camp fire.?
"THE DARK MYSTERY"
The yap of the fox breaks the still of the night
Up the canyons dark trail to the flickering light
Of camp fire burned low at the panicle height
Where the pine tops give sway in the soft autumn breeze
And firelight responds to darkness on trees
Warm blushes of orange under canopy leaves
A wonder of heavens where stars are the song
Of a beauty so perfect and time that is long
Nocturnal the witness from animal throng
Night sky the blanket a cover of peace
To ashes the camp fire the night to appease
All souls are at rest now and hearts are at ease
While in darkest of dark dwells the God of the Ark
Ten cubits apart stone walls guard the heart
Of the age and the mystery of Earth from the start.
2 Answers
- ?Lv 79 years agoFavorite Answer
I liked the first four stanzas VERY MUCH! I can't actually put my finger on why I'm not crazy about the last stanza, except it seems to be the most off in meter (which could be easily fixed), and maybe the sudden change to the metaphorical (stone walls, cubits!), and I'm not sure, but the last line seems a little awkward. Still...You should be proud of this.
(and maybe the last stanza is great...I'm not the best judge.)