Am i a bad girlfriend?

So right now I broke up with the guy I pray to god I'm meant to be with and the reason was because I'm too pessimistic because he's always helping his family earn extra money and also because he's really close to his family and stuff like that. Well I'm afraid that we would never see each other I mean I'm going away for 2 weeks to the other side of the state and to chicago and I feel so bad. I blew up at him when he bitched at me for being to pessimistic which I see now is a problem, but he makes me happy and when I'm not around him it just makes me feel like nobodys there for me. What's worse is that he may get a job at the plant that his grandpa owns and he's going down there this weekend and I wanna sort things out but he won't answer any of my texts. I need help