Help! An Atheist bit me! What should I do?

Smoke weed and don't call 911. They can't help you.

Quick! You have to act now!

You're gonna have to take these steps:

1) Get a cheese pizza

2) Put the fur of a pregnant Labrador on it

3) Cover it in stuffing from a child's toy

4) Put it in a microwave for 2 minutes while singing 'Who Let The Dogs Out' and dancing randomly

5) Get a knife and cut the word 'Raccoon' on the pizza

6) Eat half the pizza while dancing to a song from The Lion King

7) Put the other half on the pizza underneath your church

Do all this and you won't turn into an Atheist!

I hope this helps!

PS

I'm an Atheist and I'm finding this funny as hell!

Great sense of humor! :D

Anti atheism is doing so much damage to Christianity that it is in reality anti Christianity – David Manley

It takes in reality only one to make a quarrel. It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favour of vegetarianism, while the wolf remains of a different opinion. - William Ralph Inge.

Why so blind to what causes the backlash against christianity?

ALL the other religions and atheists live in peace and are ONLY attacked by BAD christians which causes all GOOD christians to despair at the damage they do!

Up until about 40 years back Christianity was thriving and there was no conflict with others but in just those few short years the modern christians have become intolerant, hate filled, bigoted and persecuting resulting in a growing backlash against christianity and causing christianity to loose over ten percent in less than a decade with the loss accelerating!

The self destruction of Christianity is underway and the only thing that can stop it is to abandon the terrible human emotions, seek to rediscover the idea of a loving god and act like it!

Posts like yours that drive people further away from God are driving you towards hell.

So who are you working for the devil or the antichrist because it sure ain't the loving god!

Quick! Go find a little boy, take somewhere dark, do indecent things to him while assuring him it's not a sin. After that, find a baby seal, club it to death, make a speedo out of it's fur and eat its liver!

Quick, get a sword, cut it's head off and take it to the hospital to check for rabies. If you can't find it, then notify animal control and get in for rabies shots.

You mean to say that this atheist was a dog whose evolution did not go properly and now it looks human. This is very scary.

You're gonna need to wash yourself in the blood of the lamb.

Best bandage ...compression of course the affected limb ... then cut it off with a blunt pocket knife ... if a pocket knife is not available best use a sharp spoon ... or so I've been told ...

I think you'll be fine but get a rabies shot just to be safe.

Just keep praying until you fall asleep. Then pray some more when you wake up

Just put on your tin foil hat and eat your olive oil. You'll get through this.