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I'D GO WHERE YOU ARE FOREVER (need some suggestions to improve my diction)?

If it floats your boat

Darling,

Go for it!

On your way please remember to note that

Wherever you are--

“Have some sense or none at all,” because

Each day is a blessed boon

Roaring toward the bottom line

Every night wrought an epiphany,

Your delight a happy mine,

On the sea of finding me, so

Unscrupulous of infinity,

Amazing the lights of serenity,

Rounding up the divine.

Effervescent in those escapades brought by

Fulfilled this dreams’ delight;

Onslaught of soon gone memories

Reminiscent with our kingdom’s decline

Each one and every other for themselves

Violently placid, on the surface

Eminent by all who see and those who lie

Rowing away together...

Update:

@ Bannibal ~ There's nothing wrong with those specific words.

1 Answer

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    The most important thing is to replace the words that are completely of place in a love poem.

    epiphany,.....Unscrupulous...Effervescent....Violently

    Otherwise its O.K. bye....

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