I'm 17 and my parents treat me like a child. What should I do?

Question

My parents are so controlling. They have so many restrictions and I feel like I’m treated like a 10 year old when I’ll be 18 in 10 months. I’m starting my last year at college and looking at universities which I will be applying to soon. They can’t live with me there and control everything I do at uni as well therefore I need some more experience of the real world without them holding my hand in everything I do. I’m not asking for complete freedom; just a little more independence. I can’t even walk to the end of my road when it’s dark in case I am “raped, kidnapped, murdered or mugged”. I don’t live in a very dangerous area so I don’t understand the need for all this babying. It’s really started to get me down, and I end up going crying to my boyfriend which is something I know must be irritating. His parents know about it and they agree that it’s just too much. I’ve tried talking to my mum and dad but they believe what they’re doing is right. I don’t know what else to do. My dad even joined me and my friends when we went to an amusement park cos he didn’t want me there without an adult. It can be really embarrassing at times, but mainly it just upsets me. I’m rushing through life, waiting for the day I can move out and that’s not the way it should be. I even dread holidays to what I can assume are expensive locations cos I get depressed when I’m alone with them for two weeks when I know I should be grateful for what they’re giving me. They are disgusted with me whenever I tell them how I feel, I don’t know what else to do?

Jo Bear · Accepted Answer

Ok, going to give you two perspectives.  Mom and Dads and then me

Mom was complete over bearing, controlling, powerful, determined and stubborn as a bull.  Dad was a Drill Sergeant in the US Army.  Nice combination huh?  You want to talk about insane parents.  They were not insane, in my mind they were, but years later I figured we (all three kids) drove them insane in some sense.  I was 18 and I wanted to go out on my first date.  Dad said absolutely not, Mom seconded the motion.  I wanted to go clubbing, I was responsible, never got in trouble, I was a good teen, yet Mom and Dad always guarded me.  

I asked them one night, how am I going to show you both that I am responsible as you have taught me how to be if you don't give me the opportunity?  I can't make you proud of your upbringing us if you don't allow me to show you I can?  After much talk, with respect, I never raised my voice, Mom and Dad both agreed to let me out ONE night.  I controlled myself, even if I wanted to not control myself, and I proved to them, they made the right decision in letting me go just a lil bit.

I'm a Mom now.  I have 6 kids.  I am just as protective and probably over bearing, go figure because I love my kids just as much as Mom and Dad loved me.  We want to hopefully help our kids out and sometimes we don't do it the best way but it would be far worse if they didn't show any interest in you or cared if you went out or not.  

Be respectful in requesting time alone. Don't shout or be rude, if you want them to have trust in you, show responsibility in acting like the adult you claim you are.  Once you have proven you have adult qualities, it will get easier for them to let you go.  Good luck and be NICE :))

Anonymous · Answer

My parents were/are the same. Just know that they probably won't change and you're best bet for freedom is when you move it. It sucks, but just try and stay positive and stay respectful towards your parents cuz they invested a lot in raising you and bringing you to where you are today.

? · Answer

talk to them be like "look i know ur just looking out 4 me and want the best but part of that is treating me like the young lady i am, i will always be ur lil girl, i will always love yall but i am not a lil girl any more" ect

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I'm 17 and my parents treat me like a child. What should I do?

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