Help! I'm falling for her!!?

I really liked the fact that you admitted to not wanting to restrict her college experiences; this speaks to a maturity that few have.

I proposed a solution to a similar problem previously, and I wish that I could simply find it so as to paste it in here. I can't; but I'm willing to take some time to retype the ideas for you. You seem to me to deserve it.

First off, yes you should continue to see her and enjoy the summer in her company as much as you want, and as much as possible. It's not unheard of that late teens or early 20's find their life-long loves, and so you must pursue the possibility. To not do so would leave you wondering "what-if" for the rest of your life (so to speak).

Second, talk about your hopes, dreams and expectations for your upcoming college experience with the same degree of excitement as you would with anyone else. Be absolutely certain to ask her (allow her) to share her hopes, dreams, and expectations as well. And, ask her questions, lots of questions. (I was just sharing some thoughts with a girl on Yahoo! Answers about the 21 Questions game. I've referenced the site below. You COULD have some fun with this girl-that-you're-falling-for with some of these questions. But, back to business...)

Third, don't avoid conversations about your upcoming separation. It's a reality that is happening, and you need to deal with it. Later, I'll suggest something that may help you deal with it, but for now, simply accept that talking about it will not jinx future possibilities.

Forth, make no promises. The worst thing that you could do to each other is to demand (or expect) promises of exclusivity while apart. I didn't need to say that; you have already shown your wisdom by intellectually allowing her the freedom to experience that which is necessary for her to become the woman that she will become. (You will be aware of the concept of letting the one you love go, and if it comes back to you, then...)

Fifth, as the summer comes to a close, ask her if she'd like to remain in touch periodically during your pending separation. This will be a tough decision; a decision not to be taken lightly. May I suggest an, "Do you think it'd be fun to touch base via (email, text, whatever) every couple of weeks?" rather than, "I hope that you'll keep in touch!" - which smacks of possessiveness.

Sixth, and final thought. If, and only if, she suggests that she'd like to communicate with you while the two of you are separated, then...

Suggest that you make a list of things that you expect will happen while you are away at college. Number each item on the list. The list is to be replicated so that each of you have a copy. Suggest that you communicate with each other when any item on your list becomes reality. The last item on your list should be a date, a boy-girl date that specifically says where the two of you will go as friends when college is fully completed. My imagination is limited, so my list is short; it follows, yet I know that you two can do better!

1 - I hate a course that I'm taking.

2 - I fall in love with one of my professors.

3 - I get my first A+.

4 - I join a sorority.

5 - I have my first accident.

6 - I kiss my first fellow student.

7 - I get a failing grade in an assignment.

8 - I discover a new best friend.

9 - I get drunk for the first time at college.

10 - I wake from a nightmare related to something about college.

11 - I have fallen in love with a classmate.

and finally (whatever number it happens to be)

32 - I have graduated and I have a date with (your name/her name) to share my stories.

So, November 1st (after a Hallowe'en party) you email her that you experienced number 9.

It'll keep you communicating, and it will give each of you permission to live your lives in college as you should. And it will give you one last shot at reconnecting (that final "date") - when you may discover that she is no longer the person that you fell for, or that she is!

What think you?

For me, the whole lot turns out to loosen up and get larger at Fall. I hate the sizzling climate and whilst it cools down somewhat, I think extra energized and feature much less pressure. I love Halloween and taking my youngsters pumpkin opting for. There is not any higher time of yr than the month of October. I wager you'll say, I'm excited for fall, but despite the fact that I have not been in a school room in two decades, I nonetheless get that 'again to tuition feeling' at the night time of Labor day each yr.