I promise an afterlife of bliss in a heavenly trailer park attended by 72 almost-virgins. Who will worship me?

Depends... Will I get a double-wide?

And I don't mean the almost-virgins either.

Cant keep a good dad down in a trailer park, but almost virgins is okay, you supplying the beer too of course!

Lol, I'm not beating Meds on this Q. Throw in some skunky weed and you got a deal, Jack (PBR).

Can I get a double wide with a deck, Jack (PBR) ?

If so, you got yourself a goddamn deal, man.

I'm festooning rabbits with ribbons and beads.....for a parade later....to honor you. And because Eddie likes rabbits.

LOL @ Meds - great minds really do think alike!!

Dude, I don't see any Pontiac Firebird in the mix. No Firebird (with big decal of bird), no worship. Period. Besides, any dang fool knows there is no god but Mr. Rogers, after all, he was a sniper in 'Nam, man.

Male or female almost virgins? And my price went up, I want at least 144 almost virgins...FEMALE.

Or 100 almost virgins, and ONE real one.... you can keep the other 43

Define almost virgins

After you die and rise from the dead by your own power, without the aid of technology or other people. But you must first make the prediction hundreds of years before it actually happens. That is precisely what Jesus did.

I will worship you because of your exquisite mustache. All hail the mustache king!

Trailer park huh? Almost virgins huh? Sounds like a Hepatitis outbreak waiting to happen....no thanks I'll get my STD's the regular way, thank you.