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Unfabulous asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 9 years ago

What do you think of this poem?

It's unfinished and it's just a quick thing. I'm not a poet by any means.

Keep all wishful thinking in a large wooden box

To remain forever, each tick of the clock

For the thoughts in my mind are those of a fool

Defying realities, breaking unbroken rules

To search the high heavens, to figure it out

The past and the present, my future filled with doubt

My heart is now heavy, has sunk in my chest

All my pain I have hidden, now that you are at rest

All my wishful thinking contained in the box

Will stay there forever, no key for the lock

Update:

It's not supposed to be exciting. It was supposed to be about anguish and hiding any weaknesses away from other people.

5 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Finish it up and show us the final poem, don't look for any direction before that so we can see what you really mean

    It's off to a good start

  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    Awesome!! You're amazing. btw. You ARE a poet. People who write poems are poets. :)

  • 9 years ago

    fear not, for weakness only exists in the mind

    anyways, nice talent you got there

  • 9 years ago

    very nice! :)

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  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    BORING!!!

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