finally meeting my in-laws.. after 7 years and 3 kids...?

Question

This is going to seem silly- but my fiance is from another state- and despite the fact that we've been together for 7 years, and have 3 children (oldest is age 5) I've (nor have our children) ever met his family.  Well now next week they are "stopping in" for a day while they pass through the city we live in.  I have mixed emotions about this.  While I am excited my fiance gets to see his family (it's been 3 years since he's been out to see them- we never had enough money to take our entire family out there) and I'm excited they get to finally meet their grandkids- but part of me feels resentment- because they've had nothing to do with us for the past 5+ years (aside from mailing birthday and christmas presents to the kids).  

Now another dilemma, because it's "his" family- my fiance wants to just have us spend time with his family alone-  yet my family who has been ACTIVELY involved with us and our children nearly everyday- would LOVE to meet his family and they want to do something with all of us together.

How do I make everyone happy?  or come to a compromise?

christina · Accepted Answer

I would talk to you "husband" about it tell him how you feel you could do both have the family time with the in laws and then a few hours later they can meet you family. Your in laws are probably very uncomfortable and nervous about meeting you and the kids and your husband is trying to make them feel better by keeping it to a minimal

MsElvira · Answer

Ok, Sounds like you have your head together. Sounds like IF your In laws wanted ANYTHING to do with you and your children;they would have done so ALONG TIME AGO. Please excuse my french, **** them!!!.. NOW! They are taking the time to grace you with their presents while driving through for a day on THEIR VACATION! That means they could have come any time to visit their son and most importantly their grandchildren. While your family have been there for you.  I would be courteous to them, but I wouldn't go any further. No bending over and kissing their ***! Trust me when I tell you; I know exactly what you are going thru. 34 years later and my in laws have NOT change and frankly I don't give a DAMN! My husband and I have been blessed with 3 Wonderful, now grown children. Good Luck honey... DON"T kiss ***. Be yourself.

CDS2012 · Answer

Wow this is an awkward situation. It depends on how long your in-laws will be in town if you should get both families together. Most of that time you guys will be doing a lot of catch up and getting to know one another. I say play it by ear and maybe the opportunity will present itself for the two families to get together. Hope everything goes smoothly.

Anonymous · Answer

They want to focus on the grandchildren.  Let them.  Have them meet your folks another time.

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finally meeting my in-laws.. after 7 years and 3 kids...?

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