When spankings and timeouts don't work?

Leave off the clothes.

Is he the youngest of your youngsters via any risk..?? My daughter, Yvette, is 4 and has an older sister age 7 and an older brother age five.. She is the youngest on the second however I'm 6 months pregnant so she would possibly not be for lengthy.. As a baby, she went by way of levels of tantrums, slapping and turning at the tears whilst she did not get whatever. Being the youngest, she used to be appeased via her older siblings within the try to hinder the tears however she received too used to this. When I learned I used to be anticipating my fourth, my companion and I sat down along with her and defined why this behaviour used to be a "no no" any further. Try explaining in your son WHY this behaviour is unacceptable. You'd be amazed how a lot more obedient youngsters are once they realize why they're or aren't meant to be doing whatever. Good good fortune

A three-year-old child may understand that something is wrong but they don't have the brain structure development to inhibit their bodies from doing what they want. He can't always stop himself from taking cookies when he wants them.

I'm a single mom, I have three boys aged 9, 7, and 5. I have been alone since they were 5, 2, 6mos. It is tough. There are times when they have time to get into mischief because I HAVE to be busy. Try to spend time having fun with your child when you can, it helps a lot.

Alter your schedule so that whenever possible, you are doing things when he is doing things. Shower after bedtime, have him with you coloring or helping when you are cooking, keep a stash of stuff he's not allowed to play with except during your busier times (play-doh, special toys, etc).

Discipline is about teaching, not about punishment, and nothing's going to work instantly. Time-out is almost always the best choice because it ends the conflict. Even if he seems not to care, being interrupted for time outs often enough will get too annoying to continue and he'll quit.

Spanking just teaches him to lose control and hit. The best way to deal with a tantrum or act of defiance is to react calmly. A quiet, "time out" with a point in the direction is a good way to direct him to time out. He will not listen, so carry him there and do not start the time until he is staying in time out. Set the timer and do not engage in discussion. When the time is up, make HIM tell you what he did wrong and WHY. Then forgive him.

It can be tempting to rant as we go about our work because we are frustrated but we are just teaching them to rant and rage.

If you have trouble after changing your reaction, get help from a psychologist or doctor, there may be something else going on.

I totally relate to your question because I went through this with one of my children. I am sure his father passing away has had an effect on him. Apart from anything else, he will have felt your trauma. Subconsciously, you probably also have felt a need to make up to him for not having a father. Whatever, losing his father will have had a subtle, psychological effect on him.

I know you are doing all the right things, and believe me, I know how frustrating it is when nothing works! But try to back off a bit and look at the situation differently. Before you say, that won't work that is exactly what I said - but I was wrong! Listen to yourself when you talk to him. You probably expect trouble before it even happens. Well, you would - because that is what always happens. The trick is to learn to speak to him as though you expect him to do exactly what he is told, and do it immediately! Now this isn't easy, but practice, practice, practice. Be firm and unrelenting.

As well as the punishments (time out, etc.), don't forget to have plenty of rewards. This can be something like a run around in the local park. The best reward is always mom's attention. Something like this also wears him out and gives him less energy to create havoc.

Check his diet. Sugar, caffeine and artificial additives can all trigger bad, crazy behaviour. No need to be obsessive about this, but it is worth looking into. In my son's case he became completely uncontrollable with just one Smartie!

You mention that you stopped day time naps because you spent all the time trying to get him to sleep. So stop right there - you don't get him to sleep! Tell him, firmly, that it is rest time. He is to sit quietly in his room for the next hour. End of story! I always told my son - you don't have to sleep, you just have to stay there and be quiet. He needs to learn to see this a special time for him as well. He can play with quiet toys (my kids always looked at books or played with lego) undisturbed!

Don't be afraid to ask for professional help. Your son sounds as though he has serious problems and may well benefit from seeing a psychologist, and there is no doubt in my mind that a good family therapist would help the situation. You and you son have both been through a difficult time - there is nothing wrong with asking for help. I spend years counseling families with young children, yet when one of my own children was uncontrollable, I felt just as lost and confused as any parent! It makes all the difference when you are not personally involved. Good luck!

5-10 minutes isn't severe enough, have him wear those clothes all day until he gets changed for bed. I suggest just completely ignoring him except for feeding him, clothing him and waking him up/putting him to bed; just don't say a word to him or acknowledge that he has accomplished anything. Obviously still pay attention to him, you wouldn't want him doing anything dangerous, but put on an act that anything he does doesn't impress you or that you even notice. As for throwing temper tantrums in public, let it happen, they [the tantrums] continue because you react and give him attention which is what young children are looking for, instead just continue walking in said public place as if nothing has happened, Again still keep an eye on him so he won't get lost, but keep an air that you couldn't care less if he was bawling his eyes out. Strangers may think less of you for doing this but if you continue to pay attention to his tantrums he will continue to have them, besides the opinions of complete strangers mean nothing. He may be an only child but don't give in to his every whim and fancy because he is your only child.

my son did all the same things at that age! We stayed consistant in the discipline and even took him to the corner 100 times but we did it. we used the token system, but i dont know if you son is still 2 young for that. We have taken away tv time, toys, and told him if he cannot behave while in public, he will have to stay home. you have to be stern and act fast and be consistant in correcting him. if you dont, he will continue to run all over you and have no regard for authority. As for the whole shower thing, i either had my son sit in the restroom with me, or shower with me because he would eat all the sweets in the kitchen if i left him in front of the tv. we recently had him see a therapist which told us he has adhd, but hopefully your child grows out of that. good luck.

I am sure that you have realized that your son leaving the house is extremely dangerous. Is he leaving when you shower and/or at night? I would buy a door alarm so that the alarm will ring whenever your son leaves his room. Another option would be to install the door knob on backwards so that you can lock it when you need to shower.

About your son hitting you:

-Everytime he hits you, get down to his level, hold his hands together and say in a stern voice, "This is unacceptable behavior. Hitting hurts people. You need to stay in this corner for time-out and think about your behavior." He needs to stay in time-out for 3 minutes as he is 3 years old. After 3 minutes is up tell him that he needs to apologize to the person he hurt. If he does not apologize then he needs to stay in time-out for another 3 minutes. The time-out corner should be away from the TV and any distractions. It should be a quiet place.

And about naps:

-You can never force anybody to sleep. I cannot even force myself to sleep- I just stare at the ceiling some nights. My rule is that during naptime, you need to be in your bed and quiet, but you do not need to sleep. Take all toys out his room, leaving only his bed. Don't make a big deal about taking away all of his toys out of his room. Just take them out. Then keep guiding him back to bed each time he gets up. Take him by the hand and say, "It is nap time." Do not give him any further attention. You may be guiding him back to sleep hundreds of times, but remember to keep on being consistent.

About meals:

-You don't need to force him to eat anything. I would definitely not make separate meals for him. When you make a meal, and he does not eat anything, then re-wrap it and keep serving it at every single meal. If he is truly hungry, he will eat what you made.

About writing on walls:

-Children do not know that walls are not for writing on. Give him paper to write on instead. If he keeps on writing on the walls, the crayons and markers get taken away.

Its time for you to put your foot down. If he does something wrong you tell him what he did wrong and make him fix it. You can also give a warning and he does it again put him in time out. and if he does it again after than spank him. Make sure he know what he did wrong and what he should of done.

Punishment is contereffective. Try thearpy He might be hurting from the loss of his father

completely ignore him when he does bad things it sounds harsh but works also try and find out what he likes and whenever he is doing good try to bond with him so he will want to listen

You are spanking him over his clothes.

Have you tried spanking him on his bare bottom?