I'm really sad, can someone here make me smile?

Id love to make you smile =)

This is my favorite joke in the whole world

Ugly Baby

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"

Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.

"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.

The man sympathized and said, "Why, he's a public servant! He shouldn't say things to insult passengers."

"You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!"

"That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."

______________________________________________________________________

Favorite prank

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBlZ7OWtKzw&feature...

Jokes-

Why did the phone get glasses?

He lost his contacts.

How does a chicken keep a beat?

With it's drumsticks!

Where was the first doughnut cooked?

In Greece!

What did the papa buffalo say to the baby buffalo on his first day of school?

Bi-son!

What's a mummy's favorite type of music?

Wrap!

YouTube-

Dog sings to crying baby.

Cat plays dead to fake gun shot.

Baby laughs funny

Fluffy kitten confused

Here's just a few links and jokes I know! Hope you're ok, and remember SMILE! =D

Chuck Norris considered doing a chin up but after having a good look around realized his chin was already up there in the first place

Here's a blonde joke.

A blonde and a brunette jump off a building...who hits the ground first???

The brunette..because the blonde got lost on the way down.

:O

What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a *****?

He smashed his his nose.

Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted?

Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends *** with a feather.

Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...

A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her ***, The doctor said I've got some "Cream" For that.

Why was the washing machine laughing?

Because it was taking the piss out the underpants.

What do you do with a years worth of used condoms?

Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear.

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?

Your wife will always blow your bonus!

A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock.

A lady asks "What are you dressed as?"

He says a fireman!

You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll *** as fast as I can.

One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.

She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.

She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you."

He replies "BREASTS."

Wanna Hear A Dirty Joke?

Mud Dirt Pigs.

http://www.last.fm/music/Monty+Python/_/Always+Loo... This song always makes me laugh and smile. This is for you and I know it will lighten your spirits. Enjoy! :)

If you want to laugh go to the circus

If you don't hunt me during hunting season, then

I won't hunt you during tourist season.

Accompanied with a kiss on your forehead.

There there, it will be all right...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdB-8eLEW8g