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Should I tell my boyfriend his roommate hurt me?

My boyfriend lives with another roommate, and we're all in our early 20's. He warned me at the beginning of our relationship to stay away from his roommate, but it was because he enjoyed stealing (or hitting on) all of his friends girlfriends and treated woman badly (emotionally). He's also into been into martial arts for a very long time and likes to rough house. We've been together a little over a year now and while the roommate and me are on friendly terms and do talk (they share a living space, it's not possible to avoid), I still have kept my distance but he'd occasionally hit on me.

Well a week ago when I was hanging out at the house, his roommate was home and walked into my boyfriends bedroom to ask me to check something on the computer. While I was checking for him, he said something stupid and I jokingly shoved his shoulder. In turn he shoved me back and I pushed him away. The little game suddenly escalated when he grabbed me though and locked my arms behind me (he's in martial arts) and it really hurt. I told him to stop but he wouldn't and kept hurting me. He grabbed my hair and it hurt to the point my eyes were tearing up and I told him to stop, but he kept it up as if we were still playing around. He dragged me by the hair across the bed for a while before he twisted my limbs into a lock again while I continued to tell him off. It continued for quite a while as I pleaded. Finally he let go suddenly and left me there, completely in shock at what had happened and sporting bruises that appareared later in the day.

I haven't told my boyfriend what happened. I'm scared of what he'll do and the house is actually owned by the roommate and they work together (the roommate got him the job). I'm worried he'll lose the place he lives and his job, which he can't afford because he's already living paycheck to paycheck. I don't want to be the cause of difficulties for him, but I'm scared of being alone ever with his roommate now. He's been confused (and possibly annoyed) with my inability lately to be left alone for any moment of time at his house.

What should I do? Should I just let it go for his sake and pretend nothing happened?

Update:

*EDIT: Hurting me was definitly intentional. Someone doesn't just drag someone across the bed by their hair without a word and pin them down in a way to cause them agony, while their eyes tear up and they plead to be let go. To then just suddenly get up and leave you without a word. He knew what he was doing, he's just the kind of guy to not give a ****. He's scary to say the least. :(

5 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND!!! If he's anything like mine they wouldn't be friends.. This is scary on your boyfriends roommate part!! It sounds like he kinda got a thrill off hurting you and you being scared which is a sign of a very controlling man!! And also one who could be involved in rape and other assault charges on women.. Controlling violent men with a history in know martial arts or any type of fighting is not a good Combo!! Your boyfriend telling you how he is with his girlfriends and then him actin like that towards you and you're his friends gf.. Not good honey!! You and your boyfriend either need your own place or he needs to find a new roommate!!

  • 5 years ago

    Tell your roommate that she can not have him for your room anymore. Be powerful and do it. Tell her the way you suppose and inform them to do their industry in a vehicle, a lodge, or within the woods at the back of the school. Another motion you would desire to feel approximately them is to record them on your dorm manager. You might desire to switch to yet another room or a room ate that you realize and believe out of your categories. I feel any such recommended movements might aid you out of the guilt you're feeling for being your self. The reply is take a few motion so that they can loose you out of your roommate and her pal. Good success.

  • ?
    Lv 4
    9 years ago

    I'd say approach the roommate first. Tell him that he hurt you, but that if he was joking just not to take it quite so far. It's quite likely that he simply didn't mean to hurt you so bad. Chances are you two can solve it just between each other. However, if you can't, atleast approach your boyfriend and let him know. leave it up to him to take action

  • 9 years ago

    Don't keep it to yourself it can happen again and you should also tell that jerk that if it happens again you will call the police, you should just move out

    Source(s): Trust behavior
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  • 9 years ago

    Thats' bulls***, do not tolerate that s***. you may feel like a taddle tail, but do it!

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