feel like im not good enough?

Laura if someone is going to cheat on you, unfortunately we are not able to prevent it happening. The anxiety or paranoia that you're feeling is quite normal under the circumstances, but you need to talk to him about it. Reading between the lines it appears that you've both just slipped back into a familiar routine and neglected to address how each other is feeling. You have to stop right now blaming yourself for what happened, these things happen, tragic, but it's not your fault. Sometimes people are hurting so badly that it just feels right not to bring up the subject so as not to upset anybody, and situations like this occur, nearly always ending with the couple growing apart. You need to sit him down and try and find out how he's feeling too. If that's too difficulty write him a letter explaining how this tragedy has left you feeling. One of these two options should get you guys talking or at least sometime to think and digest what's been aired by you. It would be a shame for you both to have gone through so much together (because lord knows 4 years would have taken lots of compromising and especially good communication) to throw it all away because we were too stubborn to talk to each other about how we are feeling about the tragic event.

If I've been out of line or made you anymore upset, then please forgive me, as it was not my intention. I do hope that you Laura and your partner are able to survive this. I wish you both the very best.

Have you done counselling? If not then you should. Losing a baby is a big deal. Sorry for your loss and best of luck for the future.

The question is, is he man enough to do what is right. Is he a childish pussy to evade his responsibility and continue to chase chics. How well do you know your man?

keep your chin up sweetie --- you both made this event together --- good luck