Am I ready for sex? Just passing 4 month relationship mark.?

I have been afraid because I fear I’ll regret “losing my virginity” to the wrong person. What if I fall in love with someone further down the road and they’re a virgin and they think it would be perfect if we lost our virginities together but they are horrified to find out that I’ve already lost mine? This is a fear and it’s stupid! The thing is I would never want to be with someone with those idiotic constructed values! My future partners should care about me. They should care if I have an STD or am into S&M or cut myself but not if I’m pure or not. They should care if I’m a whore and how easily I let boys go further because, let’s face it, sex with little base is unhealthy and seems deteriorating to the self. Or maybe it isn’t. Maybe we’ve constructed it that way. Sex seems like a natural thing. The Color Purple shows how sex can have little emotional implications. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. The more value we give it or the bigger a deal we make of it makes the decision to proceed all the more ****** up. But I suppose future partners should care how promiscuous I am because it shows what sex means to me. Here we go again making it into a bigger deal than the action shows, although in this case I suppose it makes a little more sense to me. Back to the promiscuity thing, if I’m sleeping around it might be indicative that I have sex to party and because sex is awesome but I really don’t care who with or what they mean to me or how attracted they are to me overall. If I were to have sex more carefully and sparsely it would be healthy because I’d show that I develop love and care in a relationship and then I think ....I care enough to be close to them in that way? That the relationship is worthy and ready to go the next level? That I think they are worthy to go further with me? See now I’m getting back to the constructed value of sex. I want to do it now because it would be amazing, because it would feel nice, because I’m comfortable doing it with whom I’m with, because I feel safe with whom I’m with, because I’m excited to do all of the crazy positions and orgasm from him, because I think it would be a bit satisfying to actually be doing what everyone assumes we already do (you know those remarks you get on buses and with friends).