Can someone give me a brief story on christianity?

God came to earth as Christ, and offered us remission of our sins, and everlasting life.

I think it started in secret as a way to survive the truths of the more stabilized organized authority that was intolerant of anything that didn't fit into their corrupt ways. And persecuted as such as a threat to the established rule of the times.

The best way to sum up Christianity is learn the Nicene Creed.

Magic sky man made dirt-guy and rib-woman and put a magic fruit tree next to them and said 'No eat fruit!' but rib-woman met with talking-snake and ate magic fruit so magic sky man cursed them.

Later, magic sky man sent half-sky-man half-human virgin-born zombie-child to save us from himself.

2000 years ago, a cosmic Jewish zombie screwed his own teenager virgin mother so he could get her pregnant with himself. He did this so he could sacrifice himself to himself in order to save the world from himself because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake with legs to eat fruit from a magical tree.

In fact, he loves us so much that he will send the majority of humanity to hell for not kissing his aѕѕ the right way. But if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, he will forgive you for the rib-woman's mistake so you can joyfully spend the rest of eternity...kissing his aѕѕ.

http://www.thebricktestament.com/home.html

this is the whole bible in brief

its an awsome story but i think its just nonsense