how do you use a time out effectively?

You don't need to keep him from kicking or go there himself. You just going to be more stressed if you try. I would suggest giving him one warning to go to time out himself. "You were not listening to mommy, you need to go sit on the time out chair." If he says no, then you give one warning "If you do not go to the chair yourself, then I will help you." If he still refuses, then you pick him up and place him in the chair. It is essential to just give one warning, otherwise you are teaching him to tell you no, b/c you don't actually mean it the first time. When he realizes that you mean it the fist time, or your just going to carry him there, he will be more likely to go himself.

When he is kicking, ignore it. Don't comment on it, say ouch, etc. Just lift him and place him in the chair. Don't put him down until he gets to the chair. Most likely, at one point or another someone lifted him, he kicked and he was put down, thus learning that kicking gets him to the floor. Or he got attention for it.

Once he is in the chair, he can kick and scream all he wants(as long as he is still in the chair). Ignore the behavior.

All behavior serves a purpose. When it no longer serves the purpose(such as kicking to get down), the behavior will cease.

Also, remember that it takes sometimes three weeks to fully change a behavior. You will often see improvement in behavior, and then something called an extinction burst where the behavior returns with a vengeance. Stick to your guns, and the behavior will stop.

TO ADD: Time outs do teach a child how to behave when used properly. You always need to give the warning for the child to stop the behavior first. ex- "Jimmy, if you throw the block at mommy again, you are going to time out." This gives Jimmy a chance to correct and modify his own behavior. If he chooses to do it again, then he is placed in time out as a consequence. The end of time out is always an explanation of why they were there.

Time out is a tool to use is a larger discipline and guidance routine. It should not be used for every misdeed, but it is effective and appropriate. Sometimes children need consequences for behavior. There is nothing wrong with using time out.

Well, best idea is not to carry him there. He's three and can walk. How things work in my house is:

They get 1 minute for their age to start with. So in your case, he'd start with 3 minutes. Than for everytime you have to ask them to go sit in timeout its an extra minute. For screaming and crying in timeout their time will start over until they are quiet the whole duration. When they were 2-3 we'd take their hand and walk with them to timeout to start. But after the first few times, they had to go on their own. The mouthy thing in our house gets soap in the mouth. They are now 6 and 5 and they behave better than any kid I've ever known. They listen, We've even taken toys away for not going to timeout. You just have to stay calm and not yell. Also, for everytime they get out , time also starts over!

he knows how to push your buttons...when he does something wrong, tell him if he doesnt stop, he will go to time out. If he dont listen and stop, then just pick him up and place him in the naughty chair, some where away from noise, the TV, books people etc. and walk away and set the timer. If he gets up place him back agin and reset the time...NO talking or communicationg with him. IF it takes 100 times to get him to do his 3 minutes, then thats what it takes...never give up or give in.

Not to be rude. but first you should not pick him up and tote him there. Just simply tell him if he doesn't sit in the chair then he don't must stand there in not play nor anything else. I was once had my share of stubborn child syndrome. and my daughter grew out of being"throwing fit" hope this help

Try 2 deal with the CAUSE of the misbehavior rather then the misbehavior

Time outs only teach him that he's done wrong, they aren't teaching him how to behave differently next time. They are already causing power struggles with him at 3. http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positi...

Your ten-step guide to putting positive parenting to work in your house, from setting limits effectively to weaning yourself off yelling and punishment: http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positi...

It is stressing you out becuase it's not working. try something else (i love this website, it changed the way I parent).