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Should I believe him or just stop seeing him?
I started seeing this man about 6 months ago. We are both in our late 20's. He has a 1 year old son from a previous relationship. One of the reasons why I broke up with my last boyfriend because he has a child and I couldn't deal with the drama, so I vowed to never again date a man with kids. But my male family members and friends told me that it's kind of unfair because everyone is different, so I decide to give it a chance. He tells me that he is not with the mother of his son and does not want to be with her anymore because they do not get along. He says that one of the problems he has with her now is that she keeps believing that they are still together because they been together for so many years (3 years) and she keeps telling people that they are still together. He once showed me her instagram page months ago where she posted old pictures of them together along with their son together with her claiming that they are still a couple and a family. He asked if she can delete them and not post anymore pics of him. She has since deleted them. So I decided to try to trust him.
Everything is good with us. He is a nice guy, he contacts me regularly and we have fun together when we are around each other. We never argued and whenever we have a disagreement we always communicate about it and solve it.
Well today I was on my Instagram and I happened to come across a picture that someone re-posted from her timeline. I guess we somehow have a mutual friend (I didn't know) and I knew that was her because her profile picture is a pic of her and their son. The picture is an old picture (one of the ones he showed me months ago) of them dancing at a ceremony and in the caption she put: "national boyfriend day, I may say that I'm single but I'm really not I just want to let these thirsty hoes that he's my man". Then I look further into her profile but there's no other pictures of them together. However the rest of the stuff is just quotes of her either bragging about "I'm single", "I always have other options" "my kids will always be fine" or "I'm lonely" etc.
My male friends and family says that sometimes some men just sleep with their child's mother but that doesn't necessary mean they want to be with them. It's unfair but that's just how it is sometimes because no one is perfect. They say that even if a man has no kids they can still sleep with an ex girlfriend or a random woman. They says just let him resolve his issues on his own and never nag about a guy sleeping with other women because that will push him away, just act like I don't care and focus on him. However this is not something that I want to deal with.
Should I bring up this issue, show him the pic and leave him alone? Or should I leave it alone and let me find out where his real feelings lie over time?
3 Answers
- Serene ELv 79 years agoFavorite Answer
Move on, dear. The same issue applies with this guy. He's got a kid and he's got drama.
- LanieLv 49 years ago
The thing with being suspicious is that it turns even the most innocent of things into a problem. Once you start thinking that something is going on, everything will seem to lead you in that direction. If you care about this man and want to have some sort of a relationship with him, then you should trust him. Unless he has given you a reason not to trust him, give him a chance. He may surprise you. Now, you have to accept that this woman will always be a part of his life. However, that doesn't mean that anything will happen between them. If he's focused on you, then you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Relax a bit and enjoy his company. Don't look for reasons for this not to work. It could be great. Good luck to you both.
- 9 years ago
Ok. Where do I begin? First I want to tackle the male friends and family thing. Are these guys nuts??? It is NOT ok for your man to sleep with ANY other woman while he is in a relationship with you! True enough, no one is perfect. However, when a man is committed to you he isn't going to sleep around and any man who does that doesn't deserve your time, love or commitment. As far as you nagging a guy about it...have at it,sister...as you're walking out the door! I promise you that if he hasn't worked out his "issues" by the time you meet him, you don't want to be his experiment in monogamy.
Cheating is not about being confused. It's about caring only for your own pleasure and desires no matter who gets hurt in your wake. It's about narcissism and it is a serious character flaw. Run, do not walk, away from any man in your life who will cheat with you as well as cheat on you because if he will do one he will most certainly do the other. And PLEASE stop asking advice from the men in your family and dump any man as a friend who would give you such ignorant advice. Ask the WOMEN in your life.
Finally, it sounds like your boyfriend has been pretty upfront with you about his ex. It seems like she may just be delusional about their relationship and can't move on. So, my advice is that you should definitely tell him about what you've discovered and the two of you should work it out together. Trust him until HE gives you a reason not to. K? Hope this helps.
