How to deal with this guilt.?

Question

I'm a freshman. This guy, who has apparently liked me for some time, asked me out. I am not looking for a relationship, I feel like dating at 13 is still too young, and there are things I'd rather do. So when he asked me out, I said no, and told him why. He looked like he was about to cry or something. He took something out of his bag, and handed a small box to me, then walked off really quickly.

I opened the box and there was a necklace inside. It looks like it was really expensive too. I feel like such a b****. I wanted to go and give the necklace back, but I couldn't, my body was just frozen. My friend, who is also friends with this guy, told me that it's a good thing I didn't because it would have hurt him even more.
 
I have a long weekend (thanksgiving in canada) and won't see him for 3 days. However, he is in my french class and sits behind me, which is probably going to make him feel worse.

I feel horrible. What should I do (is there even anything I can do?)? If you were the guy that got rejected, how would you feel?

ツ ๖ۣۜGrimmy๖ۣ ツ · Accepted Answer

Oi, looks like I'll be helping you again *o*

Remember when I posted this to your last question

"Tell him straightforward. Your friend didn't ask for your permission to make such a bet with this guy in the first place, it's her/his fault, not yours. If you tell him straightforward, he will stop and not get in the chance to think "Hey, maybe she'll actually go out with me if I keep this up :D" and then get crushed when you don't."

You did the right thing, but now imagine this scenerio for me.

You didn't listen to my advice, you went out with him and he shows you the necklace. What would you have done? You either tell him you're not interested or keep it going because you felt guilty for him for buying that expensive necklace for you. Well my advice was that you tell him you're not interested so you're left with the 2nd one, to keep dating him cause of guilt.

You guys are still going out, however you'll be forced to think that you have to keep this up because you were given the necklace. Time goes on and you're still waiting for a good time to tell him you're not interested in him anymore. But wait, how are you going to tell him that? That you weren't interested in the start and he bought you that necklace for nothing, let alone all the time you guys went through was fake as well? What if he bought you MORE stuff that costed MORE money? What if he said you were worth everything even though you weren't interested in him and had to tell him at SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE? Rejecting someone isn't easy, but it's the right thing to do if you're not interested in them.

To be honest, if I were him I'd feel hurt too because you rejected me, but I'm not always going to be accepted just because I ask. Even though I will feel hurt, I know I'll get through it somehow someway because I can't keep the past from enjoying my life here in the present. That's what's so special about it. Not many people our age (I'm 15) know this and I'm glad I do.

Read what I said in this question

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgRMvXkdgA5aTeDMDgt.pZjsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20121006115000AAC3WqD

Your love life will be full of tragedies and you won't always be the person who hurts the other, sometimes it will be the other person that hurts you. Don't expect it to be free from pain.

EDIT: Add me here and send me emails if you have more questions and think my answers are good. q_q I will always reply back to whatever you have a question about. Also, I prefer facebook if you have that, it's so much more better than getting a question here on YA.

flying carpet · Answer

Thats the risk you take.At least he had the nerve to do it.Both of you are far too young to be dating.You are kids.Focus on your school work and give him the necklace back.
Tell him it was a beautiful gesture but you cannot accept it.
Just be nice to him when you see him,that doesnt mean you have to get involved !
Explain you are both far too young.Dont freeze,thats really immature.Just deal with it.

Yazzi · Answer

Awwww dont worry I think the best thing is to explain how you feel one to one and say you'll keep the gift as a friend for know and say your not looking for a relationship yet but maybe as time goes by.

Sam B. · Answer

tell him in a nice way " hey im not rejecting you .. u r nice and handsome  :) im just rejecting the idea of being in relationship cuz im not ready to take responsibility of anything .. cuz i see that im still young .. and need to live free :) but we are for sure best friends " 

i guess if u said that he will respect u :) and will understand ur point

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How to deal with this guilt.?

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