how do I stay away from my mother who has no respect for me and uses me? My aunt and cousins hate me too.?

It sounds like your mother is pushing her culture beliefs on you. I don't feel that is right. It seems like you have gone modern and don't want the old way of dating someone because they are of the same country or colour and especially if you don't even know them. It sounds to me like you and your husband have broke your backs trying to be good and helpful. I would not bother visiting any of them anymore other than maybe one or two visits a year. I would assist your mother into a place of her own that offers her assistance and run. I believe that your family members have the attitude and behaviour problem not you. Unless you want to end up sick and in a home I think you and your husband should concentrate on helping each other. Limit any time and help you give your Mom. It is not right for her to put you down and make you feel rotten. I would try sitting down with your Mom some day and ask her why she tells people that you are mentally ill. I am sure you are not but try to find out why she thinks like that. Is it because she wants to control you and you are standing up to her? If so she is in the wrong and you run your own life not her. good luck and I think your mother has been very hard and unfair with you. I am sorry that you had to go through all that. Now you are on your own you need to protect you and your husband from any disrespect or abuse. Limit your visits and the time you are there to visit her. Any time you are around people that give you the "uh oh" feeling keep a distance from them. I believe you are becoming confident and your mother is trying to raise you with her culture beliefs. It is important to sit down with her and calmly explain that for you times have changed and you are not interested in being told how to run your life and who to marry. Offer her councelling if she will take it. good luck and take care. Stop catering to her because your husband and you may end up fighting because she interferes and demands so much. As far as your aunt and uncle I believe they committed a crime and you have the right to call the police and ask for the pictures back. If they broke into the house especially. It is very sad and self centered of them to have taken them all for themselves. If you have no luck with that then maybe years down the road you can manage to get some pics from them when things have cooled down. I have a sister just like them and she is a greedy dishonest person who puts up a front for most people that she is a nice genuine person. She gets away with a lot because she uses her good looks to manipulate people. Expect your mother to guilt you next but don't let that manipulation work on you. Protect your marriage and your mind. Limit your help and time.

Stop helping her and stop helping them. I know they're family but they're not good family. Put your horrid mom in an assisted living facility and ignore your aunts and cousins.

You need to focus on your marriage and your children.

Please don't throw away your marriage by bending to your moms will all the time and making your husband angry/stressed to the point that he wants a divorce. If he's already doing all of those things for her then he's being an angel but he will only be able to put up with it for so long.

Your mother is the one who's mentally ill and if she loves your aunt,cousins and sister so much then leave her with them and never look back.

Your family is your husband and your children now forget about the others who only bring you down.

Love her and back up! She is not treating you as an adult or lady. It could be from how she was brought up, but...! Don't stop loving your mom but stop being used by her and/or her stepping mat. It's too bad you had to live like that when you were in her house under her rules, but it's a new day and you should recognize it. If they don't want to respect you, love them and back off. Let them come to you, and with respect. Be good to you.

First off, I am so sorry for what you have endured your whole life. NO one deserves that and it wasn't your fault. That isn't how family should treat you and it's definitely not right. However, you cannot allow them to treat you this way anymore. Now that you're an adult and have your own family it's your responsibility to protect them from the toxic people in your life. Honestly, your mother and your aunts and cousins ARE toxic, unhealthy people in your life. They really aren't family. It's your job to not let them interfere with your family's life. Your family consists of you, your children, and your husband. That's it. That is your MAIN family. They are your *first* priority. Your mother and her sisters are causing drama and stress. It will weigh on your husband and if you don't stand up for yourself and your family, a divorce will be in the near future. Imagine if his family was doing this and not yours. It would be HIS job to take care of it, even if that means kicking people out of your life that you love. I recently had to kick my dad and my old best friend out of my life because they were doing nothing but causing problems. Yes, it was difficult and it hurt, but THEY were not acting like true family and friends. I couldn't allow them to step all over me anymore. The same goes for you. Your mother is a grown woman, if she can't take care of herself she needs to go to a nursing home, assisted living, or a family member who is willing to devote their time to her. You CANNOT. You have your own family to take care of. There is nothing wrong with walking away from them for awhile. Don't allow them to make you miserable. You shouldn't be doing everything for her. Step up the plate, hon. Do what's best for YOU and YOUR family. Good luck.

look i have the same problem here though, my mother don't respect me.. and i really do hate her and i'm ready to do whatever takes me away from her, she always want to mess up things between me an my father, she doesn't want us (me and my sisters) to be happy all she wanna do is to mess things up.. i really need someone's help.

you dont do anything hunn.. im east indian too and my mother is the frikkin same.. im 24 and she wants to rule me still.. i have a good job and afford to live on my own.. her family anbd her both tell ppl i dont even know that i make money as a hooker lol... just cus i cn afford to pay for my own my own house/ car . and i help my brother out wioth their school... its so sad reading your story is like reading my life story... its the same.. i currently dating a man who is white too but the sweetest ghuy in teh whole world and treats me with respect and his family loves me and treats me as their own where as my family is trying to set me up on dates with guys they find blah blah ... they dont quit! lol its am indian thing dumb i know but it is.. all i would say is you live your own life.. they way you family is treating is gross.. not fare to you or your own family... they are using you and i get that its yor mother but enough is enough.. i learned an important lesson iftre my own dad dies 7 years ago and that you treat ppl the way they treat you family or not family it doesnt matter cus your a person who deserves respect...

Get her to a psychologist and get yourself out of there. Stay away from her, she sounds like a lunatic!

just three letters: OMG!! really really you have nothing left to do honey but to wait for her death and DON'T let your dad's photos disappear like this, try to take them back as soon as possible.

I have an older brother who's retarded. I would never live my life to please him, because he's retarded. Why do you live your life to please your mother, who's retarded? Who's crazier, her or you for trying to please her? Preserve your sanity. Cut them all loose. You'll live longer and be happier, and so presumably will they without you there to carp at. Life is short, go enjoy what's left of it.

I think it's cultural get used to it. Life's a test YOU KNOW THAT! Just pray to god that he will fix their ways. She is still ur mom.