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Thomas
Lv 4
New Poetry (Comment / Critique)?
Center mass, you take the hit
Reap the arid benefit
Your not a man
Certainly you had plenty lapse
Remedy alone as you collapse
Your not in control
Can't help but think your all alone
Resting in your barren home
Your not my father
Cry, Cry, Cry...
But I still love you...
1 Answer
Relevance
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
i think this was good. but i would stop at your not my father because the end just seems to be hanging there by itself.
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