Am I "homophopic" if I am creeped out by a man trying to hit on me?

Yes, you may be homophobic but that in itself may not be a sign of being bigoted, e.g. people who are aquaphobic do not necessarily HATE water, they had a deep rooted fear. If you are homophobic it may be due to you having been programmed to be so by your parents, peers, clergy, etc. You must also consider that your feelings of disgust may be caused by you not being certain of your own sexuality. Are you afraid that it some guy "hit on you" you may react in a unanticipated fashion? Or is it more of a "if my friends see a guy hit on me they're going to think I'm gay and that's bad"? You have to decide which it is. Me? Personally I have my sexuality nailed down; I like women - I find the female form a work of art, I like the way they smell, the way they move, their skin, they way my wife looks lying next to me in bed on a sunny Saturday morning, wonderful! BUT - I can also appreciate that other people may feel the same way towards members of their own sex. In a free society consenting adults are free to do as they see fit as long as they cause no harm to others. As far as the other thing, I don't care who "hits" on me, could be a BBW lady at the Costco, a hairy biker at a bar, a golden retriever, some dude in line behind me and in front of the BBW lady at the Costco, some skinny blond dude who looks like Garth from Wayne's World who wouldn't leave me a lone at a Blue Oyster Cult show it really doesn't matter. I would be flattered - and not repulsed in any way - it's a compliment! Just say, thanks, but I'm married or have a GF or something! (btw all the things I mentioned happened although the golden retriever's exact motives are still in question).

I can't answer your question about diversity campaigners shouting down the fact that you're repulsed by the thought of being hit on by a man as bigoted because to me you're free to feel that way if you wish - as long as you don't use your feelings of revulsion as a reason to harm or interfere with the freedom of others.

No you aren't "homophobic" for being icked out about other man hitting on you as long as if you do get hit on by a gay man you just say politely no thank you or I don't go that way and move on. Don't be mean, rude, or act out violently. Then you'd be homophobic.

Do you know how many times guys hit on me and my girlfriend and even after finding out were are together insist we should have a threesome? We politely decline and decline and then maybe get a bit rude when we have to say no for the 10th time but we still try to be respectful. As long as you do the same we can all live in peace and harmony with each other.

Well Mr Brad, from a gay guy's point of view, I guess it's perfectly normal for you to be creeped out by the thought of getting it on with a guy. Hey, we feel the same if a woman tries it on with us, argh!

But the thing to remember is that by and large, us gay guys are a picky bunch and we don't go for just anything in trousers. Sometimes our own gaydar gets it wrong and we chat up someone like you. It's not intentional and you should take it as a compliment and see the funny side.

You are only homophobic by your negative reactions and your intolerance. If you can laugh about it, don't take it as a slight against your red blooded manhood and accept that some of us are born differently to you, with the same human frailties as the next man, then no, you ain't homophobic, just a normal level headed straight guy.

By the way, just for the record, your disgust is probably based on your perception of gay sex. Clean dicks up clean butts is no different to clean dicks up clean vaginas and in the bigger scheme of things, what consenting adults do in bed should not matter one iota. Just because something is alien to you and naturally repulses you, doesn't mean it is wrong or that you have to act against it.

Ok so what if your sister came up to you and said she has a problem, she likes this guy at work but when she suggested they should go for a drink after work he said he is repulsed by that idea.

Would you say that is reasonable of him or is it an over reaction, a simple no would have been more than enough to tell her he is not interested.

You should be taking this as a compliment as while it may not interest you, at least your attractive enough for others to think your worth asking out. What would be upsetting is if you were not asked out. That is equal to saying your below them, not good enough,.

It doesn't make you homophobic, although there is aboth a mature and an immature way to deal with the situation. It is also a bit ridiculous to specify gay men. You are probably annoyed by anyone who hits on you that you aren't interested in. That is perfectly reasonable. Just react respectfully and move on with your life.

hey you know what? If you were getting hit on by a nasty looking chick that you weren't interested in wouldn't you feel the same way? I'd call it homophobia if you feel this way towards seeing other men act this way towards each other but the fact is, if a gay man asks you if you are and you say no or if he clearly knows you aren't then that should be the end of it. If he kept it up then i'd be super pissed and on the verge of punching him in the face. Your not interested then your not into it and that person should respect that, no matter the sexual preference!!

Theres nothing homophobic about that, and theres nothing really homophobic about not liking gay people, it becomes homophobia when you actively speak out against it, campaigning againsy gay rights etc etc.

Everyone has the right to their opinion and feelings, if you don't like gay guys hitting on you then thats fair enough, as long as you don't respond with something like - "get out of my face you filthy f*cking fa*got, you make me sick" - you're fine :) Xx

You are presented with an offer of dancing/kissing/sex with a man, and the mental image you get is simply a big "NO".

That just means you are VERY straight!

If you aren't offended by the attention, then you aren't homophobic.

You don't think "People shouldn't do it"....just

"People shouldn't do it with ME"

That's fine!

Try to take it as a compliment and turn them down nicely.

I get that it's a bit uncomfortable, but it's kinda the only way they can find if you are "open" to it. Sometimes you'll be uncomfortable, it's the risk social interaction with other people.

Just look at it as being hit on by a really ugly women, and you have had enough beer yet to take her on. I get hit on frequently, and I am hetro, and I just laugh it off. Get over it. No big deal.