Why do we base our self image so much on our reflected one?

I don't know if I agree with this or not. So I'll just lay down how I see things and you can pick and choose from there.

I saw an animation once of a free hand cartoon blob. This blob had two eyes, and for the first minute on the screen he looked confused as he tried to move around, continuing through an endless plain of white paper. After about a minute, the blob sighed in depression. Then the artist drew another blob, and the two blobs spent a minute mimicking each other. All of the sudden, the artist introduced a third character, a humanoid type person, but this character did not respond to any stimuli; he just stood there and did nothing. The two blobs shifted their shape to imitate this third character, but eventually became bored with it and began to alter his position. They took turns moving him into strange positions and then laughing at him. After this, the artist introduced a number of different items and gradually the blobs began to develop noticeable personality traits.

This animation, which was aired on IFC's animation shorts about a decade ago showed a couple of important concepts.

Ever wonder why introverts are so socially awkward? Why people who have problems making friends are so depressed? Why we need so much to socially interact?

It's because without someone else to compare ourselves to, we're shapeless blobs. We NEED comparisons in order to define ourselves and our progress in life. We need that social interaction to be able to define if we are popular, or not. Why do teenagers put so much emphasis on looking cool or having swag? It's because they are defining themselves based on the model of people they observe.

So back to your original question. Your "reflected" image, if I'm understanding this correctly, is the person that you want other people to see, am I correct? And you ask why do we base our self image so much off of our reflected one? It's simple. You're striving to be something you're not, and therefor you'll never find any satisfaction in it. To truly find inner peace, you must embrace yourself for who you are. If you like something, why would you tell people otherwise? If you are opinionated, then changing your opinion for the sake of looking good is just lying to yourself and the people around you. Living a lie is a trap that MANY people fall into, and soon it becomes a habit; next thing you know, you're 40 and having a mid life crisis because you have no idea who you are anymore.

Embrace what you know about yourself, and be that person. You don't need to be popular or have swag to be happy with yourself. If you're young, take every life lesson as a credit towards your self definition; don't follow idols for the sake of defining yourself, though it may be good to know what's popular for the sake of cultural references during social events. Be in tune with who you are, what you like and don't like, and why.

And take that reflected self image and flush it down the toilet. You don't need to be someone you're not.

We reflect our self-image

Because there are a lot of superficial people in the world.

Speak for yourself