Need advice, should I get back with my ex husband?

Ok, I stopped reading after you said that your body was getting sick. Your body is telling you to stay away, and you cannot ignore this, and you know it. Verbal abuse is ABUSE. I do not deny your love

for him, although, after what you have been through, it should have begun to wane by now. For now, phone, and coffee, once in a while...if you can handle it. You may have a need to "rescue" or make him a project.....for you. Think of you FIRST, please. You absolutely must.

If you are doing any of these things, you have to stop right now. Because if you're asking, "What can I do to get my ex back," all of the above mistakes will not do it, so stop doing these things immediately!

So then, what should I be doing to get my ex boyfriend back, you ask? Here are some helpful tips for you to follow that actually work https://tr.im/benY3

You have to stop whatever you've been doing. It obviously didn't work, and if you were making the mistakes I mentioned above, then you really need to stop and take a step back. It's time for a fresh approach. You have to break complete contact with him, at least for a while. If you really like him, I know this is going to be difficult, but you have to do it. You can't communicate with him in any way. So, no texting, no IM'ing, no anything. You have to go "cold turkey" in a sense. You can consider this "you time" where you work on yourself. You have to work on improving your life instead of focusing your attention on your failed relationship. This will be probably be a difficult time for you, and it's going to feel almost impossible to not call him, but you'll need to stay disciplined so that you don't revert back to your old ways. Just remember that what you were doing wasn't working. You're trying something new.

He may still love you and you him but this has been a destructive relationship in the past from what you have said

Tread carefully as its hard to turn the clock back and forget about all that hurt from the past. Take your time and think about the bad times you had as well as the good

Maybe you could just see each other without living together for a while to see if restarting your relationship would work for you both

You are now feeling stronger because you have made that huge effort to recover from what he has put you through - use that strength now to think rationally about things. You cant save him as he has to save himself - and you dont want to get lost again in the fight to help him

Be strong and do whats right for you - sometimes just loving someone isnt enough and the way they drain your strength isnt worth it in the long run

Just because you love them doesn't mean you can make a life with them. Your husband has some very serious drinking problems even though they are on hold right now. Ten months is not really all that long for an alcoholic who has drank for decades. He needs at least a few years under his belt and even then it would be quite risky for you to get involved with him again. You say he knows you so well, so he knows how to fool you, how to lie to you, how to possibly drink again and talk you into staying with him. I don't think it's a good idea at all to get involved with him again to even take the chance of going through that hell again. You need to move on and get it in your head that this relationship is over which is best for your well being, not his.

I don't think anyone on here is going to make a bit of difference in your decision. If you do decide to make a go of it again, then go into it with eyes wide open. You remember what it was like at it's worst before and be prepared to go through that again. Realize that him not drinking is a struggle for him everyday and will be for the rest of his life. Personally speaking, I would run, not walk away from a relationship with any alcoholic because I never want that chaos in my life plus I can't stand being around a drunk man. They are really disgusting if you ask me. I never did understand how women ever put up with this behavior day after day in their home and around their children. It would sicken me to live like this. Once I got away from something like that, I would never want to go back to it even it there was the slightest chance it would happen again. I would happily move on no matter how much I thought I loved them, no matter how good they were in bed, no matter how much they sweet talked me, no matter how well they treated me later, etc. It would be over. You get the picture.

A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/YJivs

They might realize they need you and come crawling back!

If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.

He is your ex for a reason. And for being married and putting in all the time and money and everything into a divorce. Not to forgetting you said yourself your not sure if you want him back.. If your still unsure now then I would say no. If it was me.. Ya it hurts and it takes time to get over it. But life goes on..

I personally believe that everybody in life deserves a fair chance. he is showing the ambition, strength and initiative to stay on the straight and narrow. and 10 months, that's quite the achievement after struggling with this addiction for such a long time. it seems to me he's come through it. especially after a serious health scare with the liver problem. and i just want to sorry you had to go through all of this and that you have had your difficulties with the aftermath of all he's done to you, no one deserves that. and what an amazing person you are to still try and help him after all he put you through. It shows how much you care for him and love him.

I think if love is meant to be you can never let it go. but you can always let the past go. its just you who has the power to let it go and stay in the past, if you truly love him you will and can find the strength to do this. And you say the thought of him being with someone else tears you apart, well isn't that your answer then? he loves you, but since you told him to move on he probably thought that's what you wanted and needed for you to move on and be happy, and its clear he just wants to make you happy.

My opinion is, go for it. Get counselling to work through your insecurities and worries about your marriage with his alcoholism and start with baby steps. Start with going on dates, and working your way up. This will allow the both of you to get to know each other again in a brand new fresh relationship. And will also let stronger trust begin to grow. It will work if both of you make the effort and are passionate enough about making this work. Life is too short for 'what if's' and 'maybe's'..

I wish you both the best of luck.

I wouldnt but if you do you need to realize he is an alcoholic and always will be and will fall off the wagon again and again. Do you want to keep living this kind of life? Just because you love him doesnt mean you should be with him. He has problems. Why you want to go back to dysfunction? I dont understand. My boyfriends parents keep doing this and to this day his dad keeps going back to the bottle. If its what you choose dont complain about him. Its a life you chose.

I don't think you should. He is moving on and so should you. I know it hurts because you still love him, but is it out of pity and sympathy? Remember the way he treated you.

He needs to start afresh now he's better and you should to. Good luck & the best for the future x

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