How Do I Confront My Dad? Should I Even Bother? (Its long, fair warning)?

Question

Ok, so to really get the situation, there's a background paragraph that you can skip if you want.
I'm 18, and my parents have been divorced for 13 years. Two years after their divorce, he remarried to a woman who already had three kids. The youngest being Jenna, who's just a couple years younger than me. They divorced just last year and Jenna still sees him on the weekends. 
I don't see my dad's side of the family much. It was my choice. They family excluded me because they didn't like my mom. They did the same thing to my half-sister (not my dad's daughter) and there just came a point in time where holidays and family events became painful and I decided not to go. I started seeing my dad less, too, and altogether stopped seeing him for about a year because I had a medical emergency and he refused to take me to the hospital, and then continued to belittle me and put me down instead of trying to make things right.

I decided to see him a few months ago, and start seeing him again every couple of weeks. After the first time, he started bringing Jenna instead of seeing me one on one and I ended up being the odd one out. Again. What I'm REALLY sore about is that I was replaced as his daughter by Jenna, who is not his child. He takes her to football games, concerts, camping, and I never once got an invite. Nor does he bother to plan anything other than a cheap meal with me. He did this a lot even before I decided to stop seeing him. 

I want so badly to just let him know that it its a big problem with me, but my dad isn't exactly the kind of person that deals well with confrontation. In fact, he'll probably tell me that I'm imagining it and he doesn't really do it all that often. Is it even worth talking to him about it? If it is, how should I go about it?

♥♥♥♥†ع qعٱڸr٥♥♥♥♥ · Accepted Answer

Oh my God, reading this just makes me want to cry!
My father is very abusive and I hate him, but to hear that your father does all these nice things with some little ***** who isn't his flesh and blood and then tosses you to the side like a piece of trash... That really makes me mad. How can he do that?!
To be honest, I'm not sure how you CAN handle this situation. I mean, he's obviously got a problem is he's doing you like that. So far the picture painted in my head is of a selfish man who doesn't care enough to comprehend the impact he is having on his biological daughter. He has started over with another woman and her children and feels that it is ok to leave you out even though it is anything BUT ok.
You could try confronting him at his house when he is alone. Besides getting into a heated argument and getting it all off your chest, there's not a whole lot that you can do. If he is shallow beyond reasoning, your words will only bounce back and hit you in the face. Your efforts will only strike him in the heart if he allows them to. It mostly depends on your dad himself, rather than what actions you take.

I'm so sorry and hope good things come your way,
Lestatisreal

? · Answer

Hi dear : )

I feel very sad for your story. I want to cry . Why do your father so cold to you ? It is not unfair . You are his daughter . And he will care you much .

But I think you and your father need a close communication . Maybe your father has a pain in his heart. He felt very happy to live with other side . When he faced you , he would miss your mother and feel painful in his mind. Then he avoid to get in touch with you. Maybe this is the reason I think. 

In one word, your father is your father. This is the reality. Please forgive your father and still love your father. And love your father as before . I believe your father will come to you and regret for the time when miss your love. Come on dear . :) We all here support you . :)

WordsWorth_01 · Answer

You seem to hit a raw nerve with your dad. I'm sure its because of you're a connection to your mom. It's like you're a bad reminder of the past. Your dad has some issues. Please don't think its anything you did. It's not you. its never the more's fault. I'm really sorry about the disconnection. He's not going to deal w/ this. They usually don't until they're much older. Don't lose hope.

stan b · Answer

Undoubtedly he's trying not to miss up his current marriage. That's wrong.  But you might need to look in the mirror at yourself.  You going a year without seeing him doesn't help.  I know you heard this before. There's two sides to every story.

blair · Answer

i'll 'watch' the wifey, yet final time I did ya'll ended up having to get a paternity attempt to work out if it replaced into extremely yours or no longer. sorry approximately your dad, i'm hoping all is going properly, we will pass over ya!=)

Trending News

How Do I Confront My Dad? Should I Even Bother? (Its long, fair warning)?

5 Answers