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how do i earn my boyfriends trust back?
me and my boyfriend Joe have been together for 2 years now and theres a few things i need to consess to you the things i did to him... (here goes) before u tell me, i know i am a bad person and HE DOES NOT DESERVE IT AND HE CAN DO SOOOO MUCH BETTER but he want to stay with me because he knows i can change etc...
1. at this point me and my boyfriend had been together 9 months- i started to have a small crush on my guy friend Leo but it didnt go anywhere because we didnt want to ruin our friendship, i didnt tell my boyfriend Joe about this because i didnt feel the need because nothing happened apart from a small crush, but Joe fount my text messages flirting with leo and he was hurt but forgave me
2. this was only 4 months ago - this is much much worse now - i started college and fount a guy who i thought was amazing and we flirted none stop while i was dating my boyfriend joe, we held hands around college behind my boyfriends back because he doesnt go to my college so he wouldnt find out, we did this for a few weeks but them he kissed me, i thought it was so amazing and i got butterflys so i ended my relationship with Joe for this guy and we dated for 3 days and i got bored of him because i realized he was nothing compared to Joe, So i got back together with him after ALOT of begging and he came to the conclusion that i wouldnt do it again because it made me realize how amazing joe acctually is and so we got back together, but he fount it hard to trust me and he often cryed
3. only 3 weeks ago i started to like a different guy from college, we held hands like the previous one, we hugged alot and he took me out for dinner most nights after college, and we kissed, thats right i cheated on joe again ! but i didnt tell joe, and also this guy i liked didnt know i had a boyfriend! so they both was blind to the fact i was cheating on both of them at the same time, i kept this going for 2 weeks, and again Joe found the text messages on my phone with me flirting again! and he went crazy and cryed so much and i saw the pain in joes eyes, he loves me more than anyone in the world and he hasnt done anything to betray me, hes the perfect boyfriend anyone could ask for.
i just dont know why i do this so much, maybe its because i dont get enough attention from joe, i dont know but i need to STOP doing this because i DO love joe so much and i want to grow old with him.
Joe told me that i need to earn back his trust, but i dont know how i can possably do that, do you have any ideas?
again .. i know that i dont deserve someone so loyal after everything that ive done to him
i will not do this again, i need to make this right, i have to fix this
how do i earn it back ? how can i fix it?
please help me
it was three times that i lost his trust acctually :/
15 Answers
- ?Lv 48 years agoFavorite Answer
You lost his trust not once but TWICE!!!! you probably won't ever get his trust back! And if he does forgive you then he will always be jealous and insecure because of u, it will never work, if your so lustful then maybe you should just be single.
- Anonymous5 years ago
Although a breakup with a boyfriend or with a girlfriend can be really depressing, it does not need to mean that the relationship is over. Even if the breakup should suddenly leave you feeling confusion and loneliness, you may still feel really eager to heal the wounds and jump right back in to that relationship with your ex. If you are asking yourself "How can I get my ex back?", then there are some things you need to know. If you learn how to react following a break up, and you become aware of how not to strain the relationship even further, then getting ex back will be easier than ever.
If you're wondering, can I get my ex boy friend back by pretending to be this way or that way? Then you have to wonder why you want to be back with him anyway. You might be better off finding someone who doesn't make you need to pretend.
Well, there's no guarantee you'll get back together, but the odds tilt more and more in your favor when you do things right. Show her how much you miss her, and how sorry you are. Just pay attention to what she does. If your gestures of sorrow only make her angry-she throws away the roses or something dramatic like that, for example-change your tactics until you find that something she responds to.
If it appears she/he is moved on, still send her/him a card you wrote just wishing her/him a great week. But don't look as if you have any expectations. Your thoughtfulness might really impress them.
"What should I do to get my ex back?" Be on your best behavior and make your ex remember what drew them to you in the first place. They'll remember your good points and will miss them. Then you'll have a better chance of being able to get back together with your ex.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.
Still feeling hopeless and frustrated? Want to get back together as soon as possible - maybe TODAY even?
There IS a hope - and a good chance of reconciliation for you, so act on it - or you lost them forever!
- Anonymous8 years ago
Honestly if you love him so much just let him be. You clearly are not ready for a mature committed relationship. If you were you would not have done this in the first place let alone THREE times. You have proven to him you cannot be trusted and I know it sounds like I am being really harsh but you brang this on yourself. You say you love him but your actions say the exact opposite he has every right to be hurt and not trust you. I think if you really are as sorry as you say you are the you should 1. Never ever ever do this again. 2. Give him space to think. 3. Be prepared for him to not want to be with you again. All you can really do at this point is show him by your actions not just your words that you are actually going to change this time and do not hide anything from him from this point on ever if it seems unimportant to you. Let him be the judge if it is acually important. Well I really do not know what else to say but I guess I will just wish you luck.
- 8 years ago
I don't know if you can fix this, sadly. But at the same time I do not know if a monogamous relationship is one you should be in. You may want to look at open relationships, that allow you the ability to have feelings and experiment with other people, as a couple or individuals.
The problem is you are trying to fit yourself into the expected relationship role and fighting your desire to explore, but then you hide it. The issue is more the order in your confessions,
You first and foremost you HAVE to be honest with yourself about the kind relationship you desire. You CAN NOT aspect to be able to have other relationships if you do not allow your partner to as well. Open means open- both ways. These are often called V relationships. Where you and your partner agree that each other is the "primary" in your lives, but you can V off to other encounters.
The thing is you lack honesty- totally. Mostly, I am guessing, from fear and from society. Fear because you have these feelings and you are afraid your BF will just leave you if you tell him. You have a much better chance of a good relationship with ANYONE if you do not lie, but tell the truth BEFORE something happens.
Relationships are a case of "permission" is better than "forgiveness", I am guessing that your relationship with Joe will not last, because it is based on hurt and lies. You can try to move to a more open relationship and have some deep talks with him about how you want your relationship to work. But, I still there is too much hurt in your current situation, done by you, that it will not be able to be repaired.
The fundamental problem with relationships is people are not honest. You are young and still feeling out who you are, what you want and who you want to be. This is fine, but only if it is done in honesty from the start. If you sleep with a guy, you HAVE to tell him up front that you have a BF, your BF has to know you are going out with someone, and that most likely means you will be having sex.
It is not that hard to be honest and be happy- the hard part is telling lies, keeping secrets and having your whole world fall apart.
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- Anonymous6 years ago
You have been seeing the same guy for a while now. As far as you can tell things are just lovely between the two of you. He calls you up and tells you, he needs to see you, because it is very important.
You begin to think, what he could he possibly want to talk to me about that is so important. Maybe he is ready to take it to the next level. Could he be ready to make a real commitment?
The two of you meet and he tells you he loves you. But, he needs some time to himself to think things over. It's not you, he tries to explain, but you do not want to hear it. The only thing you can think about is, what in the world just happened?
On your way home you are thinking, how can I get my ex boyfriend back?
First, ask yourself this question. Do I really want him back? This is something you must think long and hard about. Deep down inside you want him, but are you really sure?
Take some serious time to think about it. You need to have an clear mind in order to make the right decision.
After you have thought about it and you have decided to fight to keep your man. Take it one step at a time. Ease up and put yourself first, because he is the one who broke up with you. It is not going to be easy, but with the right frame of mind, you can do it.
Here is the way you handle the situation:
1. Do not call him
2. Do not text him
3. Do not try to contact him through his friends or family
4. Do not give him any special treatment
Go to : https://tr.im/Fvqic
- 6 years ago
There are hints of doubt in every decision, and how you react after the breakup can either confirm or contradict those doubts. Begging, pleading, and groveling will not win her back. Behaviors and actions portraying you as needy or desperate will only support her impulse to end your relationship.
You'll also commit the critical mistake of turning her support group against you. Every action and mistake you've made is multiplied as it's discussed and examined at length with her family and friends. In most cases, the less they have to talk about the better your situation will be.
Every woman wants what they can't have, and if you've stopped calling, texting, and sending emails every twenty minutes they'll want to know why.
- Anonymous6 years ago
A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/IdsI5
They might realize they need you and come crawling back!
If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.
Source(s): https://tr.im/IdsI5 - ?Lv 48 years ago
What does the other guys have what joe has not what is attracting them to you . Look into your relationship see what is missing . If you can not resolve what the problem is it could could be better to break up with joe have time on your own is the relationship making you feel tied down . You need to find what is wrong.
Good luck hope you and joe can work it out
- JudithLv 45 years ago
The question of how to get your ex to text you back is no cut-and-dry answer, and before you try to get your ex to respond to your texts, take mind of the following consideration.
The consideration is how long has it been since the breakup. If it's been only a few days, you are not on the right path to ever getting your ex to text you back nor getting your ex back as well. In fact, what you're doing is pushing them further away.
- Anonymous6 years ago
Winning back an ex is not easy at all. It is a lot easier to generate feelings in someone, than it is to change their feelings. But if you take the right steps, and more importantly don't do the wrong things, your chances to win him back increase dramatically. Let's see!
Source(s): https://tr.im/G7SdP