Marriage: What is your take on the roles of husband and wife?

That's a really good question. And some of the issues you raised are ones I have grappled with myself. I found that the Biblical institution of headship is actually fair and just. When the principles in the Bible are applied, everything functions smoothly in the marriage. Let's look at the account in Genesis where God instituted the marriage arrangement. At Genesis 2:20-24 it says, "So the man was calling the names of all the domestic animals and of the flying creatures of the heavens and of every wild beast of the field, but for man there was found no helper as a complement of him. Hence Jehovah God had a deep sleep+ fall upon the man and, while he was sleeping, he took one of his ribs and then closed up the flesh over its place. And Jehovah* God proceeded to build the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman and to bring her to the man. Then the man said: “This is at last bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh. This one will be called Woman, Because from man this one was taken.” That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh."

Notice the word "complement" used to describe Eve. The definition of a "complement" is "something that fills up, completes, or makes perfect" or "one of two mutually completing parts." Really the position God gave women was an honorable one. They were to make their husbands "complete."

At 1 Corinthians 11:3 we find the principles for the headship arrangement. It says, "But I want YOU to know that the head of every man is the Christ;+ in turn the head of a woman is the man; in turn the head of the Christ is God." Notice that each individual mentioned has a head to submit to- woman to man, man to Christ, and Christ to God. It is completely fair to everyone involved.

The reason God put this arrangement in place for marriage mates can be thought of this way: Would it make sense to have two steering wheels in a car? Of course not! There can only be one driver making the decisions on where the car will go. Similarly, with marriage, their has to be someone in the driver's seat, someone to make the ultimate decision. God has chosen for this to be the man. However, this does not give the man license to be an dictator. He should consult his wife before making important decisions.

Additionally, like Christ, he should strive to be kind, gentle, compassionate, and unselfish when dealing with their wives. Ephesians 5:28,29 gives a principle for husbands to follow. It says, "In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it,+ as the Christ also does the congregation," So the husband is to show the respect and love to his wife that he would like to be shown. He is to treat her as he would 'his own body.'

Sadly, Adam and Eve lost perfection for the human race. (Romans 5:12) With that perfection, the ability to make the headship arrangement function perfectly was lost as well. Men can no longer exercise headship perfectly and women can no longer show perfect submission. However God promises that soon their will be a time when all humans are brought to perfection. At this time it will be said about God, "You are opening your hand And satisfying the desire of every living thing." Psalm 145:16.

Inequality, real or imagined, breeds resentment and animosity. If one person feels like their voice doesn't carry any weight in a marriage it is like a ticking bomb! Some women are okay with letting the man make all the decisions and some men love that position, but in this day and age any man that believes he should run everything is just being stupid. Unless he is prepared to take all the blame when the poop hits the fan decisions should always be a joint effort.

Back when the bible was written women were property and marriage was an economic transaction. To be compleatly fair, there are plenty of liberal and moderate churches that recognize the equal rights of women. I have also sat through services in my short 27 years on this planet where a pastor has told women to submit themselves to their husband's... and told husbands to man up. So this teaching is still alive and well in North America. I was taught by my Mother that you either agree 100% with the bible or you're not a Christian. I am no longer a Christian. :)

I have been married since June 6, 1999. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Ephesians 5:22-23. Your trouble with this is from taking a few words out of context. Most often that is quoted without AS UNTO GOD. That verse in no way makes you second class citizen.

If there is one thing that I have learned about my husband is that he thinks and processes information many times faster than myself. Submit to my husband as unto God does not say that I cannot think. In fact submitting unto my husband sometimes is not called for. That is when his advise is of the devil. And guess what I married a human.

That verse does not tell a lady not to think and do for herself. That verse does not put woman back in the stone age. But most of all that verse is often misquoted.

The women in a marriage is not less capable/valuable than the man. The woman takes care of the house, kids, and run errands while the husband works to provide for his family.

Think for yourself, then, and don't let the Bible or any church rule your life. Gender roles are a social construct, and you don't have to be forced into any particular box if you don't want to.

many women balk at these verses-

especially today but what they fail to do is

understand what God expects from the husband as well

God made men and women different for a reason-

they are to compliment each other- like puzzle pieces that make a complete picture

(2 of the same pieces do not fit together- there must be balance)

He decreed men to be the head of the household-

that role carries great authority yes- but also great responsibility

the husband is held accountable for his family as well as himself

he is also to love his wife as he loves himself- as Christ loves the church-

that means cherishing her and putting her first- sacrificing himself for her

God made being loved the most important thing to a wife

the wife is directed to respect her husband and submit to him

God made being respected the most important thing to a husband

and it is no problem submitting to the direction of my husband

when he considers me ahead of himself:)

when I respect my husband it causes him to love me-

which then causes me to submit to him

which then causes him to put me first

which causes me to respect him and on and on and on.....

the bible is a manual for harmonious living

and when God's direction is followed that's when life works out best-

wives respect and submit to their husbands as

husbands put their wives first and assume responsibility for them

that's not to say that all Christian marriages work that way-

that is the model- the recipe for best results

but our selfish pride can throw a wrench in the works at any time-

that's also why forgiveness is such a crucial component of marriage:)

there are lots of Christian books on marriage that help

couples understand God's design for mutual fulfillment and

becoming a sum greater than it's parts:)

here are some-

http://www.amazon.com/The-Best-Christian-Marriage-...

I think you're reading the Biblical take on marriage correctly, pumpkin. Personally, I wouldn't put up with that, as I am not a possession or livestock.

Marriage should be an equitable partnership in which the two people determine their own roles within their relationship.

I do not follow the bible... The bible is an old book and is not applicable in modern day society.

The role of husband and wife is what the couple makes it out to be.

The roles of husband and wife are to work together to building a stable relationship. That's it. Anything you may read and interpret from the bible needs to be interpreted against a bronze-age nomad worldview that dictated that women were property rather than humans with equal rights.