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I am in love with my best friend (we're both girls) and i need help!!!?

ok, i'm 13 years old and i really like her. everytime she's with another friend and not with me i get really nervous... but i'm not lesbian. i don't like girls, but i feel different about her she's special to me and i've never felt like this about ANYONE! i need advice, i don't know if she feels the same way about me, i will tell you some of our "moments" together.

one time, we where at a friend's house doing a Project it was 4 of us my two other friends where in another room printing while we where doing the other part of the Project. we finished with ur part but we stayed in the same room talking. we weren't even talking about anything to do with boys or people liking other people, but after an awkward silence she asked me: who do you like? and i couldn't say no one because i've been trying to hint her that i love her. i said: i'm not telling you, guess. then she started saying some boys and between those she said: me but then i just stared at her and she acted like she never said it and started saying other boy's names. i was sitting on the floor and she was sitting on the bed, so then she grabbed my hand and pulled me and started laughing. our faces where so close.... i couldn't even talk at that moment in my head i was like: whoaa ok, ok don't be weird don't be weird... Then my other two friends had to ruin the moment and walked in. another "moment" was one time that i was sleeping over at her house. the room was really dark and we couldn't see wach other... i thought she was asleep but then she turned around and stared at me. i could see that her eyes were open and then she said " i thought you where asleep" and i said: yeah me too. we had an awkward silence. my hair was in my face, so she put my hair behind my ears and then she just touched my cheeks. (all of my friends are always obsessed with my cheeks beause they are always pink and a Little chubby) then she just went to sleep. also, she ALWAYS hugs me and she treats me different tan other people, except for my other bestfriend who is also her other bestfiend, i am really jealous of her beacuse the bestfriend i love always wants to be with her (with me too) but mostly with her and i'm really starting to hate her. the bestfiend i like always keeps on asking me who i like, she really wants to know but i dont know if i should tell her because if she doesn't feel the same way about me this will just ruin our friendship. also i really want to kiss her. can someone please give me advice on how to kiss her, like how to know when to kiss her? example: i'm alone with her in my room and we're just talking, what can i do to get closer to her and make her know i want to kiss her without telling her, do i get closer to her and hug her or something? and if i SOULD tell her i like her, how do i tell her? please i really need help i also need advice. if you have anything to tell me just tell me i could really use any type of advice. thank you everyone.

Update:

i am not lesbian i like boys i am not interested in girls at all, but she's just different i can't stand it. and you might say im too Young but what i feel is just imposible for me to stop.

Update 2:

ok i'm explaing what i feel about her so you can stop saying i don't love her and that i'm too Young to know what love is. everyday i go to school, the only person i want to see is her. everytime she looks at me i can't look at her directly in the eyes i don't know why it's just imposible for me. everytime she hugs me my heart pounds and i get all nervous and nothing matters to me while we're hugging i just want to stay in her arms all day all of my friends say that when she hugs me i always get all red. i want to be with her all the time and if she ignores me by accident or somethin i get really sad like depressed i don't want to do anything else but just lay in bed and cry all day. every night i cry because i feel that she's never gonna love me the same way i do.

Update 3:

ok i'm explaing what i feel about her so you can stop saying i don't love her and that i'm too Young to know what love is. everyday i go to school, the only person i want to see is her. everytime she looks at me i can't look at her directly in the eyes i don't know why it's just imposible for me. everytime she hugs me my heart pounds and i get all nervous and nothing matters to me while we're hugging i just want to stay in her arms all day all of my friends say that when she hugs me i always get all red. i want to be with her all the time and if she ignores me by accident or somethin i get really sad like depressed i don't want to do anything else but just lay in bed and cry all day. every night i cry because i feel that she's never gonna love me the same way i do.

36 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I know exactly how you feel, except I'm bi and you're not. Ignore the people who say you're lesbian. Everyone has their "one exception" if they are straight or lesbian. You can't really have an exception when you're bi, haha. Anyway, I love my best friend too, and I went through the same phase. This is what I call the "realization and intense" phase. You basically just truly accepted/ realized you love her and your feelings overwhelm you. It's the hardest phase. Now, when I call it a phase, I don't mean that loving her is a phase. No, I mean this is a part of loving, this phase. There really isn't a way to fix it, but time. Here is how I managed:

    1. Time

    2. I started biking (just find a new hobby which you really enjoy and takes a lot of focus, so you don't spend all your time thinking about her)

    3. I started focusing on the things that would convince me she didn't like me that way (as depressing as that sounds, after a few difficult days of noticing those things, it'll lessen your confusion about her liking you or not and give you more incentive to move on)

    4. I mustered my courage and came out to her as bi (Now, you won't be able to do this cause you're not gay. But hear me out here. First, you should find out her views on gays. Don't ask her outright, be subtle. Tell her you saw this video on YouTube about a gay person committing suicide or something, and you'll get her views through that. Then, give it a little time. Figure out what you're going to say and hang out with her a bit before you do it so you're both more relaxed. You don't have to tell her you're gay/ bi because you probably aren't. Tell her you've just been having feelings toward other girls. You'll be able to tell by her reaction how she feels about you. When I told my best friend who I love, she was supportive but gave no show that she was gay. Almost always when you come out to someone, if they're gay they'll come out to you as well.)

    Phew, sorry this is so long, but it's clear you've been struggling and the answers you were getting haven't been helpful. Oh, and don't do step for until you've tried steps 1, 2, and 3). I'm sorry, and I know how you feel. I wish you good luck!

    Email me if you want to talk more: katiepieperson@gmail.com

    PS: It does sound like she likes you, and one other thing you can do is not focus all your attention on her anymore and see if she tries to get your attention back. The old "playing hard to get," lol. It's a sure way of finding if a girl likes you or not. And don't hate your other best friend. I know how that feels, but really it's jealousy. Hang out with her a bit more (not the best friend you like, the one you're jealous of) and that'll help, too.

    Source(s): My experiences
  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    Have you lost your ex, and are now asking for help on "how to get my ex back when he's moved on'? Don't bother moping, because what you have lost does not mean you have lost it forever. Here are some quick and simple tips for learning how to get your ex back even if he has moved on to another woman and no longer appears to be interested in associating with you. Learn here https://tr.im/EP3fd

    1 - One of the most advantageous things that you can do is simply to be his friend. Make a really good friend to him, showing him that you understand him and that you can be around him without creating any drama. Show him that you can joke around with him and have a healthy friendship with him. When the drama and stress of the relationship and breakup have subsided, he may realize that he wants you again.

    2 - The first step to getting the man of your dreams back is finding a way to convince him that he still wants you. Unless he really, really does not want anything to do with you, then there are a number of options that you can employ from this point on.

    3 - When you communicate with your ex boyfriend, be sweet and kind to him but don't be afraid to have a little bit of attitude. You are going to want him to want you, but you're also going to want to give him the feeling that he cannot have you just yet. While playing games is not the best way to go, you do not want give an air of hard to get, making him more interested in the process.

    4 - You should be playing a little bit hard to get, but you also want to make sure that he knows you are available. You shouldn't completely rule out the concept of flirting and hanging out with friends, because drumming up a little bit of jealousy never hurt anyone - But it is important that you play it safe because if he doesn't think you are available, he probably will not find the motivation to pursue you.

    5 - Avoid acting desperate at all costs. If you act desperate, your ex boyfriend will under estimate you. You are going to want to play things cool, letting him know that you are okay with everything that has happened, and that you are willing to move on. If you act desperate, things won't work out the way you are intending them to, so avoid doing this at all costs.

  • 5 years ago

    Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable. How to save your marriage https://tr.im/yhrfu

    However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage? If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?

    You must realize first that, you do have a choice. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter. How can we change the situation when it involves another person's feelings or decisions? While we cannot, must not and in no way manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself. You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you. Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and proactively.

  • 8 years ago

    Hi,

    I'm 13 too so I thought it would be a good idea to give you the opinion of a girl your age.

    Firstly, reading over all the moments you two have had it seems like she is attracted to you.

    When you say you are in love with her, I believe you. I understand what you mean when you like somebody and your heart beats fast when you touch each other, or you blush around them, and always want to see them. That means you like them. And it's foolish to think someone is to young to feel love, because that's far from the truth.

    You have to accept something though. You are bisexual. Bisexual is when you are attracted to both males and females. There's nothing wrong with being bisexual. Personally, I believe there is straight, lesbian, gay, and bisexual. There's just love. It is just a category society has made for us. You are no different than any straight girl.

    Before you attempt pursuing a relationship with this girl, I strongly encourage you to tell your parents of how you are bisexual, and if you feel comfortable enough, telling them how you feel about this girl.

    If you want to talk to me more about this, which I encourage you to do so, email me at lilysaunders@yahoo.ca so we can talk about this more. I can be there for you and promise I won't talk to anybody about it. If you want to talk please just email me, I will be there for you, although since I'm only your age I might not always know that much, so if you have a serious question, go to kids help phones website and go to the ask online section where you ask counsellors anonymously your question and also ask them to delete it so the public can't see anything but their answer.

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    If it actually happened for you to be at a club and go all the way throughout the club to question a girl to party with you and his solution to become a large no then you positively need to boost your seducer techniques with this specific book https://tr.im/J3OGy

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  • 5 years ago

    Firstly, you are probably bisexual. Being bi is so varied; you can love girls 1% of the time but guys 99% or the other way around. You may only love one girl in your whole life but it does still mean you ar technically bi. Come out to her as bi. When I came out as bi, I texted all my friends so that might be a good option if you don't want to tell her face to face. Everyone was really supportive to me when I came out, particularly one friend (let's call her jade). There was another friend in our friendship circle who I liked but wasn't jade (let's call her kat). I told jade that I liked kat and she was so supportive and helped me to discover what I should do. In the end I came out to her and she was really excepting. A few weeks later, I texted kat telling her about my feelings towards her. She then came out to me as bi and said that she felt the same. Unfortunately, this might not happen so be prepared but I hope this ha helped. Lucy x

  • 7 years ago

    Hey, i'm 16 i came out 3 years ago.. I've been i love with my bestfriend for 4 years in January and telling her i love her felt so bloody amazing it was like a massive weight lifted off my shoulder and i could finally breath. the reason it took me so long to tell her was because i didn't want to lose her but i didn't we're so much closer. yer there are bad sides to being in love with your bestfriend because she talk to me about sex and it just makes me so jealous and annoyed. but i tell you what she's the only person in the world who i would go to right now if she wanted ben and jerrys and she would do the same.

    So my advise is tell her you love her just explain you've tried to hide it but i just won't work anymore she'll understand in time..

    email me if you want to talk about anything: kjhollamby@gmail.com

  • 5 years ago

    When it actually occurred for your requirements to be at a bar and walk all the way throughout the bar to ask a woman to party with you and his solution to be a major no you then definitely need to enhance your seducer practices with this specific book https://tr.im/cIots .

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  • ?
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Love My Girls

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    I know its an old question but this is more for the people who are reading this for advice, to me, reading your story, i don't think she likes you, but thats just my thoughts, obviously if she does then thats amazing for you:) but i just wanted to say, me and my best friend and even closer than that, we're a little older than you, but still:) we can get dressed in front of each other, we hug all the time, we talk all the time. Yeah we do love each other but as friends, best friends. The thing you gotta know is, if shes a true friend, she will accept you for whoever you are, and if she doesn't she isn't a true friend at all! Just be brave and tell her how you feel, but before you do, actually be sure that you are in love with her in that way... At 13 i was jealous and always wanted my best friend with me and nobody else, it doesn't make you a lesbian at all, your hormones are everywhere and you're growing up, i hope it all went well for you:) sorry if this seems irrelevant

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