Have a problem spending my husband's money?

It is difficult to spend "his" money, you are used to being the provider and it is hard for you to be dependent. I think I get your situation. When your husband was a broke student did you get upset when he spent "your" money? Probably not, you probably thought of as both of you all cash and that it was an investment. You probably happily gave because you loved him. He wants to happily give to you to. He sees you as an investment. He is investing in your happiness and that is the point of being married. It is more blessed to give than receive. It says more blessed (he wants that) but it doesn't say you are not blessed to receive but blessed as well. It makes him feel like a man to take care of his woman. It sounds primitive but many men think that way. You have the power to make him feel more like a man. Do you know good he will feel seeing you in new clothes and showing them off to him? Do you know how wonderful he will feel to show you off, nails and hair done to his friends? He wilol think that is my woman and look what I can do for that beautiful creature. Honestly, you are ripping him off the good feeling of being the provider. I'm sure you have always been the caretaker in many relationships and feel confused not being that now (financially not in all areas). I don't know if you believe in God but He has provided a way for you for you to heal in peace. Don't turn down God's provision.

You are still independent because you are allowed to spend your money the way that you want to. That being said though did YOU not help HIM while he was a student? Did you not make sure that he had a roof over his head because you were in the military? Medical? Access to the base/post? All things that YOU provided for him. So now HE is able to do the same thing for you and it is hard but you do have to allow it to happen. It doesn't mean that you do have to go out and spend all his money, but you do need to give a little on what you are doing, come to a compromise. There is nothing wrong with getting your nails/hair done every 6 weeks instead of every month; buying clothes but they are on sale not full price; go out for meals when you can but not as often; and the list continues. Don't spend your money on groceries and bills but how about spending on it on something else that you enjoy doing like taking a class? Doing volunteer work? There are options out there.

You might want to speak to a counselor about this for yourself as an individual but also as a couple because obviously he has some problems with you not doing it.

Your Husband is correct you should be concentrating on yourself. I don't believe anyone totally recovers from PTSD but they learn to live with it and make their life more comfortable and enjoyable. He sounds like a good man and I am sure if you started to spend small amounts of his (your words) money he would be delighted. Surprise that husband of yours and go out and buy a nice outfit, get the hair done, nails done, it should make you feel a bit better and he will enjoy the surprise. Listen to him he wants you to spend. I don't know what hobbies you already have but maybe find a few new ones. If you live near the sea take up surfing, I did and it is the biggest stress buster ive ever came across.

i too have am a veteran and can no longer work. I do not have a rich husband. For me the fact that I know that I can not ever get a job again because of my disability and the fact that my career in the military was cut short because of my disability (I wanted to be a lifer, got out after 6 years with a medical discharge) that now i feel like I am worthless.

Military career=gone

future career=gone

nothing really to look forward to in life. I still envision myself to be "healthy" and maybe one day I can get a job, be able to afford nice clothes on my own salary, be a "career woman".

talk to a counselor if you haven't done so already.

Also the fact that you wrote both your parents were career oriented they probably raised you not to be dependent on a man. I was raised by a single mom that worked hard and provided well for her family. She always told me never to depend on a man especially for money and to work hard and be successful on my own.

then i got hurt and am depending on THE MAN (aka Uncle Sam) to provide for me.

I know the feeling.

Sit down with your husband and together with him discuss the problem in a rational way. One way to handle the problems is to give each of you a certain amount of money that you may spend each week. Going over that amont required the permission of the spouse. Do not let him use a credit card. Only use cash. His salary should immediately be deposited. If possible use direct deposit.

Haha, you're a lucky girl! Use the money to start a charitable organization, something you are passionate about and you may find a sense of purpose, a place to spend your time and money and some healing all in one! Enjoy!

You're not going to stop feeling guilty until you seek some kind of counseling or therapy. Whatever guilt you have about living within your means is harming your life, and isn't healthy. Change it, or live with it and possibly alienate your husband.

You're not a gold digger, you are a nut case. You are just as dysfunctional as a gold digger but on the opposite side of the spectrum. You have a mental stigma with success and having money, it's all mental and I'm sure your PTSD is not helping.

Use your $1400 a month and get some professional help.

Seriously? You're complaining that your husband makes so much money that he has to practically beg you to spend it? You've done your share of the work and being the breadwinner, and unfortunately, you're paying for it for the rest of your life. So relax and if he wants you to pamper yourself, do it.