Ladies, May I have some feedback on my husband's comment?

I would have felt hurt to the core if this was from my husband. You are his wife and should be his first priority. He can't part you from him or his family. He was rude. Talk to him how you feel and ask him if he has any real feeling for you.

Did his firs wife die? Just curious about hat

He should not have worded it like that nor should he have said it with an irritated tone.HOWEVER, Saying that, As a second wife to a man that was married to the love of his life also, I expect my husband to want to do stuff with his step kids from his late wife alone and therefore when they do Stuff. And I make sure I volunteer to give them space. So he has never had to say that to me.

We still all do lots of stuff together, with them.. But from the beginning I was aware that they would logically like to have time to do stuff alone and that it should not have to be requested.

You asked how I would feel if my husband said that to me? hurt. but not because he wanted to do stuff without me, but because of how it was said and him being irritated at the thought of me being there....BUT that would make me then look back and Question whether I had not voluntarily given them space. father children alone time that every parent/child regardless of age is entitled to.

Perhaps he this has been building up and he hasn't known how to outright ask you to give him/ them alone time, or perhaps you have not been getting subtle hints in the past and because it built up him not being politely directly in the beginning when it did come out, it came out in a rather harsh and cold manner.

I don't think it means you mean nothing, your marriage means nothing. Just take it as a not so subtle hint,( well you were kind of sledgehammer hit) and try to understand and not take it personal.

Wow that was inconsiderate. My husband has adult kids also and I notice he has guilt that his marriage and behavior in that marriage was sub par. You have to remember he has angst about his role as a parent to these boys and this dinner is a big production in his mind as a father and he most likely wants to reference the past and it makes him uncomfortable with you there. He does sound nervous. He is really immature here, but what are you going to do? My guess is forgive him and the next time realize he is messed up when he has to put on the (old dad role)

it's strange, to say the least. I don't know about the comment; that was just stupid. I think you're hitting on the broader point when you mention that he somehow excludes you from the 'family' idea with some archaic "blood" concept. That's messy to me.

If i were basing my guess on what you have provided here alone, i'd have to say that there really is something wrong with your marriage. (I'm so sorry to type that... and i know it's far easier for me to type than for you to read.) If you're in a church, sit down with a pastor who knows about marriage counseling; if not, find a good counselor and have a few sessions.

That move was a red flag.

Sad why did you marry him knowing that his first wife is the love of his life. They were married a long time, had children together and you probably won't ever fill her shoes in his mind. You are a "wife" of convenience. If he loved you he would be overjoyed to have you by his side.

Maybe he is annoyed w/u all of a sudden? Maybe he is missing his ex & having second thoughts. B/c a man who is HAPPY w/his marriage, even be his 2nd marriage, should be perfectly fine w/his parents inviting u.

If he rudely commented on how he DID NOT want u to come along, read between the lines hunny. This may be his way of saying u got old quick& can't hold a candle to his ex

I think based on what you said he is being really insensitive. Imo, the wife should be number 1, and if he wants some time alone with his fam he should at least ask in a much nicer way

Wow, he acted as if you were a burden to him. Maybe you are too dependent on him and he just needed some independence. I become like that when I feel sofocated. His comment was really bad but it has to have some background as to why he made that comment. Maybe you may be sofocating your husband? It seems to me that he really doesnt want to spend time with you.

I would talk to him, explain (but don't nag) calmly how it made you feel. Remember to use "I felt", instead of "You did this". People tend to respond better in arguments with the I statement. Remind him that your in laws invited you to go and you would like to spend time with the kids, also.

Bide your time...

Next time he wants some intimacy, look at him and say "Can't I just have some alone time with my blood?", as in the place where you bleed every 28 days.