Cats Rule The World

What a good (and reasonably affordable) gift for my husband for our 5th Anniversary?

My husband and I have been married almost 5 years.

He is a good person, a very supportive friend, fun companion, helpful roommate, great lover.

The only problem is, I am his second wife.

His first wife (the mother of his children) was the love of his life.

He tells me he loves me, but his actions do not match the words in regards to honoring our marriage and respecting me as his wife.

I love him dearly, but have grown tired of being second best.

Again, he is a wonderful person, but I feel that I should be loved 100% - even if that person has been married before.

Before anyone rants about how I knew before I married him that he had children, an ex-wife, and responsibilities, yes, I did know.

However, after five years of marriage, I still feel unloved, unappreciated, and undesired by this man - because that is the way he treats me.

I know the old saying that the grass isn't necessarily greener on the other side, but don't I owe it to myself to see if I can be happy without him - without being made to feel as I don't matter, and never did?

My husband says he is a Christian, but he does not believe in the Resurrection.

Nor does he believe in the virgin birth.

He does believe that Jesus is the Son of God, in Heaven sitting at the right hand of God.

He is a good person, and highly educated.

He was also raised in a home with strong, educated Christian parents.

I do not know where his lack of faith stems, but I find it very disturbing.

My husband and I have been married almost 5 years.

He is the love of my life.

Unfortunately, I am not the love of HIS life.

He was married to his ex-wife, the mother of his children, for nearly 20 years.

SHE is the love of his life.

She divorced him for money - she married him for status (he was a lawyer), and divorced him when he was making a considerable amount of money (she wanted to move across the country and he didn't).

Long story short, he married me for convenience : to help pay bills (since he has a large amount of child support to pay), free sex, and companionship (at HIS convenience). He puts me last, always.

I love this man more than life, but I am sick and tired of living my life being treated like second best.

He claims to love me, and he has been a very good friend to me when I needed him, but he has failed to honor our marriage and respect me as his wife.

I can't deal with this anymore.

When I try to talk to him about it, he gets angry and changes the subject. Then he goes to his parents house to stay for a few days. His parents, still have pictures of the two of them all over their house, including their wedding picture. We've been married almost 5 years, and it's like I don't even exist.

He knows how upset this makes me, but doesn't seem to care. I realize it's their house, but they know how upset this makes me and how disrespectful it is to me, but no one really cares how I feel.

He is a really good person, don't get me wrong. Any time I have needed him, he's been there for me.

I'm at my wits end.

Should I divorce him, or just settle for being disrespected and dishonored by my own husband for the rest of my life?

For those of you who have been divorced and remarried, do you love your second spouse more, or less than, your first spouse (the parent of your children)?

You marry the first time thinking it will be forever. You have so many hopes and dreams invested in this person.

You plan your big Church wedding, go on your honeymoon, buy your first house....become pregnant and first time parents with this person...raise your children with them, go on vacations with them.

Your whole world is wrapped up in this person for the best years of your life.

Unfortunately, the relationship did not last for whatever reason and you were divorced. Your world came crashing down and you were devastated.

You didn't think you could ever love again.

Then you met someone who made you laugh until your sides ached. This person loves you more than life itself. You love this person as your best friend, companion, and lover.

How do you TRULY feel about the second spouse?

Do you love him/her as much as you did the first?

Will you ever love him/her MORE than the first?

Do you still love the first?

Will you actually appreciate the second spouse for being so good to you since you were treated so badly by the first?

Is it actually POSSIBLE for a person to fall in love with a second person?

I turned 40 a couple of years ago. I have always been slender and healthy up until that point.

Last year I went through a very tumultuous custody battle, and stress ate. I gained more than 10 lbs (which is a lot for someone 5'3").

Lately I have returned to eating healthier (1100 calories a day) and walking a mile a day.

Every day I take a multivitamin, and milk thistle (for healthy liver/digestion).

I also take an appetite suppressant (which works) and Slimquick (which doesn't work, so I stopped).

The scale is not budging, neither is my waistline.

I am at my wits end.

Can you offer some suggestions to get the process jump started?

Thank you.

I turned 40 about 2 years ago. I have been slender and fit my entire life (because I work out and eat healthy).

However, the past year I went through a turbulent custody battle and stress ate, gaining about 10 pounds.

I cannot seem to lose it no matter what I do. I eat healthy, count every calorie (not going over 1100 a day), drink lots of water, and walk a mile every day.

I am so frustrated at this point!

I've tried taking appetite suppressants - which work - and Slimquick - which doesn't work - and kelp (for low thyroid).

I am at my wits end.

Someone please help me!!!

Thank you.

Two weeks ago I had a phone interview and an in-person interview with a Manager of Starbucks.

It went really well and she wanted to offer me a position, but the store was nearly an hour from my home.

She asked me to interview with the Manager at the Starbucks in my hometown. Starbucks requires two interviews, with two different managers.

Last Friday, conducive to Starbucks policy, I had my second interview, with the hometown Manager. She really liked me and wanted to hire me for her store.

The problem : She was unsure if she was interviewing me for her store, or the first Manager's store.

As I was leaving, she told me "I'll call you either way".

That was last Friday; today is Tuesday - I have not yet received a call.

I realize that it may be a little early to become concerned.

Do you think it would be a good idea to stop by (the second store/my hometown) to see the Manager, to let her know I'm still interested, or should I just wait a few more days for a call?

Thank you.

I have a '95 Chevy Silverado.

The antifreeze is leaking on the very front of the driver side.

The engine is not overheating.

What could be causing the leak?

Will it be expensive to fix?

Thank you

My husband and I are separated. He moved out two months ago.

In that two months, we have been dating on the weekends.

Last weekend he showed up for a date an hour late, without calling, and expected me to be fine with it. This has been a problem that has plagued our relationship from the beginning.

I told him that his behavior was rude and disrespectful. He yelled at me, took the rest of his belongings, and left.

He is a very good man. However, he is incredibly self-serving, and has always put me last.

I love him with my whole heart, but he cannot seem to get past the fact that I am his wife and our marriage is to be honored. He puts his parents, his children, and his first wife above me. I am a mere convenience for him.

Anyway, when he left on Sunday, angry that I would not allow myself to be treated with disrespect and put myself at his convenience, he texted me and told me to have a nice life and he would always love me.

I texted him back and said that love puts the other person first, and his actions speak louder than his words. I also told him that he is a good son, a wonderful father, but a failure as a husband. No woman wants to feel like she does not matter to her husband.

He did not respond. We have not spoken since.

As far as I'm concerned, the marriage is over. Six years of being left out, in last place, made to feel unimportant and invalidated, and treated as a non-family member/roommate/convenience - I am done.

Friday is his birthday. I'm debating whether or not to call or text him "Happy Birthday".

I need to be clear to him that disregarding me and treating me like a convenience will not be tolerated. I put up with it for way too long.

However, it is his birthday, and I do want to acknowledge it and wish him well.

What do you all think?

Should I text him Happy Birthday, or not?

After six long years of being disregarded, disrespected, put last, and made to feel unimportant and invalidated - I finally said enough is enough, I want a divorce. I am his second wife, and apparently to him that means second best. I come last, each and every time. Not just occasionally, or sometimes, EVERY time. My feelings are not valued or considered important to him.

This time, the last time, he immediately (as usual) yelled and blamed me for being upset about being disregarded for the ten thousandth time, and I told him that despite being a good son and a wonderful father, he is a failure as a husband. I know that to a man it is a kick in the testicular area, but I meant it.

I have cried, begged, and pleaded with him over the years to treat me with kindness and respect.

He is a good man, don't get me wrong, and I tell him "thank you" every time he does something sweet, and I treat him like a king. He is good to me - at his convenience, when no one else (his parents, his kids, his ex-wife) is around.

I love him with all my heart, but he is toxic to me.

I don't know what's so wrong with me that he feels that it's ok to put me last, disrespect and disregard me, but I just can't take it anymore.

He says he's sorry and that he loves me. I told him that actions speak louder than words.

If he were really sorry for causing me so much pain, wouldn't he make a conscience effort not to do the things that he knows will hurt me?

If he truly loved me, wouldn't he make an effort to treat me with respect?

My husband and I are divorcing after six long years of being together.

I love him with all my heart and soul - we just cannot live together due to his lack of respect for me, and failure to ever honor our marriage (his parents and his first wife are apparently #1 in his life).

I know in my head that this is the right thing to do, but my heart still aches for him.

How do you let go of the pain?

My husband and I have been separated for three weeks.

We had a huge fight (about his ex-w), he said he wanted a divorce, packed his things, and moved out (into his parents home).

We still text each other every day, and he calls every night like he always has, to talk about our day and say "Good Night".

Two weeks ago we went to a fesival together, and next weekend he wants to go to take a day trip to the beach, and there is another festival the next weekend that he wants to go to with me.

He has not mentioned coming home at all. He just wants to keep hanging out and be friends.

-and no, I will not sleep with him as long as we are separated.

Do you all think I should continue our daily conversations and go on outings with him?

Three weeks ago my husband (of four years) and I had a huge fight.

We were fighting about his first wife (mother of his children) and how when she snaps her fingers, he comes running like a puppet on a string. It makes me feel unloved and invalidated when he puts her first. Just because I am the second wife does not mean I am second best!

Anyway, he said he wanted a divorce, packed up, and moved out (to his parents house).

We still talk every day. He calls me every night like he always has (he travels 80% of the time-which is another problem) to talk about our day and say "Good Night".

I sent him a gift for Valentine's Day (pumpkin seeds, his favorite-he hates chocolate), and he sent me a card and a gift card.

The message he wrote in the card is what troubles me.

On the front of the card is a puppy holding a red rose in his mouth (very cute).

When it's open, the printing says "Will you be my Valentine?"

He handwrote "We'll always be in love".

••••••••••

We have agreed to remain friends, and I can handle that.

A week after he left, I asked him to come back home, and he refused (he said we'll still have the same problems, and I agree).

So now I'm confused.

He doesn't want to come home, but he asks me to be his Valentine.

I know he isn't doing it for sex - he is 7 hours away from me.

I don't know how to respond to this. He's sending so many mixed messages.

Men, you guys are confusing ☺

What do you think I should do? Should I ignore it and just let it go?

Thank you all for answering ♥

I am my husband's second wife.

He was married to his first wife for 16 years, and they have two sons together.

She was the love of his life and I am well aware of that.

My husband's parents, who live in another state, were visiting us for the weekend.

His kids were also staying with us that weekend.

The kids wanted to go out to eat, and my in-laws invited me to go.

However, my husband was agitated and said to me

"Can't I just have some alone time with my blood?"

I was devastated. This hurt me incredibly deeply.

I am his wife - joined together as one by God in Holy Matrimony.

To me, it feels as our marriage means nothing to him.

If your husband said that to you, how would it make you feel?

My husband left me over the weekend.

He and I both signed a 12-month lease. We have 11 months left on the lease.

We just moved to this state.

His parents are here; he moved in with them (rent free).

I have no family or friends here, he was all I had in this state.

Can he take his name off of our apartment lease without my consent?

He knows I cannot afford this apartment on my own.

My (second) husband, of four years, and I have moved to a new state.

He has friends and family here, I do not.

We just decided to divorce - he actually just left with his things 2 hours ago.

I mourn the loss of what we once had, but this has been a long time coming.

We will not be getting back together (no Taylor Swift pun intended). I love him, but will be much better off without him.

I do have a job, but no friends to hang out with.

This is a very, very small hick town, with literally NOTHING to do but drink or ride motorcycles (I do neither).

So I'm sitting here all alone on a Saturday evening with not a thing to do but watch tv.

There isn't even a bookstore here.

There are no museums, shopping plaza's (not that I have spending money), events, or activities in this area.

Short of watching reruns of "The Cosby Show" and "The Golden Girls", is there anything I can do - that does not include going to a bar - in a small town on a Saturday night?

This woman said to her husband,

"Maybe I should sleep with other men to compare your performance".

What do you think she meant?

A man marries a woman he is deeply in love with and considers the love of his life.

They plan their wedding together, go off on their honeymoon together.

They are delighted to be pregnant for the first time, give birth, watch their child grow.

They raise more children together as a family.

They go on yearly vacations together.

They move up in their careers, buy houses together, and plan to live together forever.

Then the fighting begins.

Years and years of love, happiness, and memories.

They divorce.

He has just lost the love of his life, the mother of his children. In some cases, he loses his children due to the courts and unfairness to fathers.

Then a few years later he meets a woman who loves him with all her heart.

They date a year or two.

He likes the way she tenderly cares for him when he's sick (something his ex-w never did).

He loves her sense of humor and kind, compassionate personality (a trait his ex did not possess).

He enjoys her company.

One day he decides to propose (while watching tv). No mention of love, or forever, just the fact that he owes his ex-w child support for the next xx amount of years.

He tells the second wife that he loves her, but she has serious doubts.

He is good to her, she couldn't ask for a better friend (or roommate), but she feels that something is missing.

She doesn't want to leave, just suggestions on how to make the marriage a true LOVE relationship.

Thanks :)

My vehicle is a 1995 Chevy 1500 (8 cylinder) pickup.

Last week I failed the emissions test by 11 points (143 out of 154)

Then I had a tune up : oil change/oil filter, all new spark plugs, air filter, and fuel filter.

Today I retested, and failed again.

The Technician told me the catalytic converter passed, it was the hydrocarbons that were too high.

He said to go to Auto Zone and get some gas treatment called "SeaFoam".

Has anyone ever heard of it? And does it work?

I have heard that rubbing alcohol works really well, but I'm hesitant to try that.

What do you all think I should do?

Thank you