Should I stay with a man who doesn't love me?

You've been asking this question off and on in different ways for probably a couple of years now. I think you know the answer. At least a couple of years down the tubes that I know of personally and probably all 5. Do you still want to be asking this 2-5 years from now too?

None of us are getting any younger and with each passing day I realize more and more how short and precious our lives are. I think you need to make a hard decision and then get on with your life. Either stay and know how life will be and make the best of the bright spots or split and forge ahead. Leaving is daunting I know. But, if you decide to do it, I have a feeling you'll find a way to make it and will be looking back 2-5 years from now with no regrets.

The grass is not greener for sure but it will be green and not dead. You may have a few rough patches but with time those will green up too. And yes, you do deserve to be happy... with or without him. It appears to me that your only chance at the kind of happiness you want is without him. You've spent 5 years with him and you're definitely not happy, are you?

This is an interesting question.

On one hand you say that "He is a good person, a very supportive friend, fun companion, helpful roommate, great lover." and a "wonderful person", yet on the other had you "feel unloved unappreciated, and undesired by this man and not mattered - the 2 comment do not make any sense based on the initial description.

He is either a nice guy or a indifferent ********, he sound more like the former, yet you are responding if he is the latter. Why?

So even though he clearly treats you well is helpful and supportive the obvious question is you still feel completely unappreciated?

So you have to ask yourself the question, is it a matter of how he should change things to make your feel appreciated, what are the practical ways that he would change the things he does to make your feel appreciated. What are the practical measure of the required "100% love"?

Do you give yourself what you expect in return. Do you give him the 100% love that you expect from him?

However I suspect that this is all because your have some self esteem issues and self love issues yourself. If you don't truly love yourself it is difficult to feel loved from others, because subconsciously we feel unworthy.

It sounds like that you need to look at yourself not partner, you could do a lot worse, you have to look hard at what you want and if these goals are achievable. (Is the glass half full or half empty).

However you need to move on, one way or the other, but work hard for yourself and work out what is best

May I use the reverse? When we first started dating, she knew that my kids were the priority in my life. She knew if they did not like each other that there would be no chance for a relationship, for my happiness was secondary. I never had any doubt however, and sure enough, the three of them hit it off within minutes of meeting. I mean she was on the floor wrestling with them when I got home from work. So the answer to your question is (reversing the genders of course) no. I would stay with a woman who 'loved' me if she did not like my kids. She wouldn't really love me if she could not love my children too.

I have always said one of the worst things a man can do to me is to settle for me when he'd rather be with someone else. I couldn't handle it. It's such a slap in the face as if he's doing you a favor. Little does he know that if by some miracle he would end up with the first wife, it STILL wouldn't work.

Hmmmm. I really don't know what to say. My husband doesn't love me either, at least yours is nice to you, but if you know he truly loves someone else, as much as its going to kill you to do; maybe split up? that's really sad. I'm sorry :(

i would try and get some therapy before i walked out on him, you say he is a wonderful person maybe your just imagining he doesn't love you.

You talked about how wonderful he is and all the nice stuff but you never mentioned what he does to make you feel like unloved. What is it that is he not doing that has you so upset? Once you can identify these things then you should talk to him about it.

yeah the foundation of marriage is love so if its not clearly there then the marraige has no standing, id bounce asap

Then why did he marry you???