How to be strong while divorcing the love of my life?

Same reason I tell everyone. If you are going to think about him then think about WHY he an ex:

"...due to his lack of respect for me, and failure to ever honor our marriage (his parents and his first wife are apparently #1 in his life)."

I don't care what happy moments there were in 6 years, they weren't enough to keep him being the love your life. You certainly weren't the love of his life. What you should remember is exactly why you aren't together and your sentence above says it all.

You go forward and look for a man who thinks disrespect and dishonor are dirty words because you are worth more than you got in the last relationship. Best of luck!

Whose idea was it to divorce? If it was his, really there is not much you can do. If it was you you have to re-visit your reasons.

In any case, I know that was not the question. The question was how do you let go of pain. As common-place as it may seem, it is also common sense that only time will help heal and mend a broken heart. Now, to help pass time, dedicate yourself to work, to a cause worthy to your heart, to your children if there are any, to a past time that you may have left aside or a new one you can try. Meetup.com is a great site to find hobbies, get-together, socializing, singles, meditation, art classes, trips... you get to meet great people and interact. Sign up - it's free and no... it's not an online dating service.

Friends, new or old, family IF you are tight, and being active leaves little room to remember any pain, and at the end of the day you will probably be too exhausted to wonder and ponder of the 'what ifs'. Time is everything.

I would just strongly advise against rebound relationships in the beginning... it may only hurt you more, and in the long run you may get used or someone else and it is not right. Do unto others... right?

Sounds like you have a case for annulment, as he never brought complete commitment to you to the marriage. But however that might go, you just have to remember that this too shall pass, the hurt scabs over and heals a little every day, though it hurts for a long time. I've had to heal from a similar hurt so I know how long the ache persists, but it gets a little less every day. Best wishes to you, and I sure hope you find another man out there who can love you properly -- you have earned a good break in the marriage game.

It takes time to heal from a divorce. You need to be patient and gentle with yourself. The only way to stay strong is to know you have done all you can do to make this marriage work and know that you are walking away with a clear conscience.

It is probably the worst thing you have ever had to go through but I promise, if you are doing this for the right reasons, it will get better but that will take time.

All the best.

Did you try marriage counseling? Or have you at least joined a support group?

It's a personal journey that you will have to go through by yourself. Even though many have walked miles in your shoes, we always feel that no one completely understands. That no one understands the pain and loneliness we're dealing with.

It will take time to get over the whole process, so don't jump back into the dating scene until you're ready to take that leap of faith again.

Just don't beat yourself up over why you weren't good enough, and why the marriage had to end. He had just as much responsibility to bear. And for all you know, his family and ex were the culprits behind sabotaging your marriage. But it's his fault for not being strong enough to tell them all to back off.

Normally, I'd say "Cheap booze, and cheaper men"

But since he's a big mommy's boy that can't let go, I'll say..

"Mid level booze, and higher quality men".

If you're having a hard time finding quality men, join the VFW as a social member... sure, 99% of the guys there will have issues, but they're better than the guys that can't join.

That's tough. Don't try to fight your feelings-- cry as much as you need to. You have to go through the emotions. If you don't, it comes out in other ways. Feel what you're going to feel. While going through divorce, I saw my therapist weekly. A therapist will help you process your emotions.

Also, I went to church weekly. Sometimes I would cry through the entire service, but there were really good people there who supported me and prayed for me.

Some days you'll feel like you'll be sad forever, but you won't. You'll get through. Go to meetup.com and see if there are any divorce support groups in your area. Also, visit divorcecare.org. I hope this helps. My heart goes out to you.

Time and effort to recover, heal and find a new life that is in no way like you are in now, otherwise you will be in a spin cycle for a long time and will probably go back because your options will seem not so good. It starts with you, and your attitude to move on.

Trade the pain for anger ..... you may believe he is the love of your life but I can assure you that you are NOT the love of his life.

You see as long as you still refer to him as 'the love of your life" you get to call yourself the victim in this relationship and as the victim you get to feel sorry for yourself. You have to look at this realistically and see him for who he is .... the man that has no respect for you or this marriage.

I ask my self this question every day.. You can't let go of the pin completely you have to kind of just wait for it to fade away.. You'll always have that ache for him.. But time flies.. And like you said it's the right thing To do.. But you have to try to hold the tears back and be happy.