how to call off a wedding? and avoid problems?

I'm not familiar with your culture and so I'm not sure if this would be good advice for you, but I don't think it would be awful to propose a dating term. In other words, simply state that you would like time to get to know her. You don't have to say that you won't get married, just not now. Come up with a timeline that you are comfortable with. Say, 6 months, and after that time period everyone can get together and discuss it again. She is probably freaking out too, and I think this arrangement would make everyone, especially you and her feel better.

I don't actually know Indian people and society, so please forgive me if I come across as ignorant as I am about it.

You don't say a lot about the girl, really, but it could very well be that she's not crazy in love with you or the idea of marrying, either. That would honestly be the best case scenario, if the two of you could go to your parents and say you don't want to do this.

If that's not possible, then there's really not a way to do break it off without at least ruffling some feathers (at best) and really hurting someone (at worst), but if you really really don't want to marry, or don't want to marry her, then I think sooner is better than later, and you should just be quick and honest about it, probably first to your parents, then the girl, but like I said, I don't know the culture and who would be best to talk to first.

So, this is how it works:

You marry someone you do not want to marry just to not cause your family social anxiety.

But, society dictates that you do marry her and in turn YOU endure a lifetime of anxiety and unhappiness.

I just do not get it. How could the entire family put you on the chopping block and set you up for an unhappy life? So either way, you either are causing your family great pain or yourself great pain.

They can't make you do a thing, unless you allow it to happen. If I were you, I would say I was going swimming and then never be seen again. Leave the country. Let them think you are dead, because buddy, either way, you are dead to either your family or hers.

Wow.

I would speak with your parents about not even having a word with your intended. Nervous or not, her parents are expecting you to marry her sight unseen. That means there must be some kind of secret that they don't want to tell you about her - nervous or not. It could be that she isn't what you had bargained for. It could be that the family is lying just to get a girl out from under their roof.

But you must man-up and discuss this with your parents - who brokered the deal without confirming it with you. If this girl is indeed not what was bargained for - there are legal grounds that must be covered.

You must insist that you have the opportunity to meet her face to face and have some private discussions with her - several of these - before you will ever marry her. Again, this is important. After all, there are 24 hours in a day - and you must have something in common so as to pass the remaining 23 hours and 15 minutes...

Now, chances are, that this girl is as afraid of marriage as you are and is in fact a sweet, charming girl who is just quite shy and - yes - afraid. If that is the case, once you have the opportunity to meet her and speak with her - you might not feel quite so anxious about marrying her. Indeed - you might just be delighted to wed her...

But you must discuss this with your parents and insist on being allowed to woo your bride and win her heart - before you ever speak vows of marriage.

just tell your parents that i am not interested in marriage right now. i will get married after 2 years. don't force me now. or else i will leave the house. since your parents are Indians surely they will create some emotional drama for 1 or 2 days. but you can enjoy ur life.

good luck.

The easiest way might be to wait until the wedding day when everyone involved is gathered together anyway and announce it then. Then say "Since we are all here, lets party anyway!"

Then move to a country where nobody cares about arranged marriages.

Seriously, I doubt you can get out of it without people being mad at you. Its your life, what is more important all those other people's feelings, or yours? You are the one who will have to live with the decision every single day.

Make no mistake - this concerns. until now I have been given in touch with my husband i replaced into in a 7 365 days relationship with somebody who I continuously defined at ninety 9% suited for me, yet that a million% that wasn't suited contained all my dealbreakers. i like to commute and this guy did not. I enjoyed him desperately and that i could've lived a extremely satisfied life with him yet I chosen to end it with the aid of fact vacationing replaced into certainly one of my deal breakers. I knew that i could by no skill have the life type i needed with him with the aid of fact he in simple terms did not appreciate getting out of his convenience zone the way that I do. It sounds like he might have some style of severe phobia and that's a psychological ailment. Has he considered going to be certain a counselor to attempt and help him with this? Or is it fairly a rely of "i do in contrast to planes. i don't care in case you like planes. you are able to pass with out me with the aid of fact i'm unwilling or unable to handle this subject." If it quite is the latter, this is a dealbreaker to me. a marriage is approximately love and dedication and all that sturdy stuff - yet make no mistake it is likewise approximately choosing a individual who will share your life with you. it type of feels that the life you elect comprises being waiting to attend carrying activities and commute exterior of a automobile. As I mentioned until now a love of commute is a dealbreaker for me. lacking hassle-loose activity (or a minimum of lacking the prefer to attempt and share a hassle-loose activity) is a dealbreaker for me. If I have been you I probable does not proceed with the marriage making plans until you get an theory if his situation is one treatable or if he's prepared to artwork on it. If he's not prepared to artwork on it, i might very heavily evaluate walking away. this might reason resentment for you down the line.

What do you care about more? Hurting your family? Or having a loveless marriage and possible ugly divorce?

I'm not Indian, but ... I don't think there is any way to avoid drama. However, the longer you put it off, the worse it will be. So you need to tell your parents first. Stand your ground, don't back down. Then tell her. Suck it up and just do it!!!

Say that I need time to know her better before marry her, then do anything to make she hate you, like go home drunk, fart when having sex, premature ejaculation, etc... Then after she have had enough of you, you are free from her.