Did spanking work for you? Does it work for your family?

Spanking is lazy, uneducated parenting.

It teaches violence and hitting is ok. The parent is supposed to be the role model.

It teaches kids to FEAR their parents not loving respect them.

It breaks trust, and bonds.

It's wrong and just plain lazy. NO other word. It doesn't focus on why the child is acting out. They either need attention, are bored, hungry, tired or are trying to test limits. Are you parents honestly going to say spanking the kid for vocalizing their needs as a human being is the answer ? They are a freaking child and you are the adult who shouldnt be out of control and hitting.

It doesn't work for my kids bc it hurts their self esteem and self worth. It also humiliates them in public.

Psychologists and scientific research shows its the worst form of discipline and doesn't teach kids anything but that is how you deal with things. It makes the parent look out of control and incapable of teaching positive discipline.

If parents only knew that simple redirection, distraction, or enrichment can help 90% of tantrums. Get to know your child and their needs instead of hurting their confidence.

Great book: love and logic.

There's NO need for spanking with all the new forms of discipline. Come on. Pick up a book.

Did spanking work for you?

>> NOT ME! It just caused me to go underground and do my thing behind our ignorant, brutal parent's backs! It didn't work in our family!

Do you spank solely because your parents did and because you turned out "fine"

>> LOL, I'd like to see some of those who claim they turned out "fine"! All parents spank because they were spanked and now it's their turn to get some revenge!

re: I think some of this can be due to seeing violence as a way to teach a lesson or earn respect.

>> It's ALL due to the violent, angry, hateful and ABUSIVE way your parent(s) treated you back then! Just because your sister believes she is "fine" there is still no excuse for intimidating and abusing a kid in the idiotic name of a proper upbringing and anyone with a 1/2 brain knows that.

You might be the only person in your (sick) family who has the sense and courage to break the long standing pattern of child abuse and raise a normal, mentally healthy child.

That would be a real blessing for all the rest of us in the world.

I was spanked as child, but not in an abusive manner. I feared being spanked so I strayed from things I knew were wrong. I was never spanked because my mom was upset or because I did something silly. It was something I did because sitting in time out or grounding would not have sufficed.

With that being said, I do NOT spank my daughter. She's only 2 and that's part of the reason. However, we've tried biting her when she bites back, tapping her hand, or patting her butt and those do nothing. In turn she ends up hitting herself when angry and she doesn't understand the meaning behind being spanked. I think spanking has times when it's appropriate. I would rather make threats of spanking and my child being feared of that threat versus that actual spanking. I would reserve spanking for a last resort.

What you went through wasn't corpral punishment. It was child abuse. I was spanked as a child, but I was also in an environment where I knew I was loved, and when I was spanked I knew that what I've done was wrong and wouldn't do it again. Personally I don't believe in the entire spank with the belt And stuff like that, but a firm spank on the butt it okay with me.

I consider spanking lazy parenting. It easier to whack your kid and say don't do it again or you get the same, than to actually teach and give meaningful punishments. I wasn't spanked and I didn't spank. Well, I did try it once but it was an utter failure. We both ended up laughing because I didn't know how to do it effectively. Taking away privileges worked much better for me. Now I'm not saying a little one never got a swat on the bum, it happened now and again. When spanking was prevalent, people had lots and lots of children and not much time to devote to them as they were busy surviving. Today we have time and many, many resources to facilitate good parenting.

I got beaten as a kid but I stole and lied as a kid anyway. I don't spank my own children and they are a lot better behaved than I ever was. I don't even punish anymore. I don't understand my children's motivation behind minding me. There is no threat of punishment or physical harm if they choose not to do what I tell them to, yet they do what I ask them to. I got beaten the day lights out of me and I did what I wanted, just tried not to get caught.

I actually was hit as a child and ended up with mental health issues causing problems with other people, including my own spouse. I also had a very obedient 3 year old just from talking to him. "If you walk in the street, a car can kill you dead, so we don't walk in the street so the cars don't kill us dead." So he never really walked in the street. He had 3 rules: Be nice, Listen, and Do as you're told. When he broke the rule, we told him which one it was.

One time, I told him he needed to get his coat on, and he played. "Hey... you're not listening." He came directly in front of me, and stood listening. "You need to put your coat on. Do you need help?" He nodded and I helped him put his coat on. All from merely talking to him like he was an intelligent being.

I intend on doing that with our now 11 month old as well, because hitting teaches that hitting is okay. I don't agree with that philosophy, and even though I was spanked as a child, I have found that showing respect and explaining why those rules are in place goes farther than merely hitting a child and saying "Don't do that."

Spanking worked for me and it works for my daughter. My family isn't too big on spanking though. My 10 year old has probably had about 15 of them. Most of which were before she was 5 years old.

Choked? Sorry, that goes way beyond punishment, that's abnormal and your parents should be ashamed of themselves.

I would never hit my child unless he did something like step into the road without looking, in which case I think it would be to his benefit that he got a short, sharp shock, Otherwise, a child that is brought up with love, patience and respect does not require physical discipline.

Research shows that kids who are spanked are MORE likely to misbehave than kids who aren't. And they don't do as well in school.

I know a number of young adults who were raised by parents who NEVER spanked- they were good teens and are now productive, educated adults.